Some people say that having any father around, even a bad one, is better than not having one at all. I am not sure that's true. I've seen too many example of being exposed to the wrong kinds of people to believe that. I not only would have preferred having a good father, I prefer it over having just any ol' father or not having a father at all.
Some people also talk about how two parents aren't necessary for children to grow up well. I'm glad that all people are entitled to their own opinions, because it grants me the right to disagree with that perspective. Having a different opinion than someone else doesn't mean that either one is right or that either one is wrong, it just means that they can think or believe what they like and I can do the same.
I wish I was more brave, Merlin. I had a very sheltered life, my Papa and brothers would protect me from everything, I got so habituated to it. Now, even if my Hubby encourages me to be more brave, I am very apprehensive...;))
Veena.K., you are so sweet. You are princess. As they say, your journey starts with the first step. Remember, the other foot needs to follow... soon you will be walking toward your bravery. I think you are wonderful just the way you are but when there is need for change, you know it. Good Luck my friend. Lots of people will help you on your brave journey! Love, Merlin
By shielding you from anxiety rather than helping you deal with it, your father (he should have moderated your brothers actions on your behalf) left you apprehensive beyond normal caution.
That also constitutes another form of child abuse.
Work with your husband on this---he loves you and can help you become more comfortable with risking.
LOL I'm sorry if you interpreted my answer wrongly, I think the word apprehensive is the 'culprit' my hubby luves me but I was the apple of my Papa's eye....;))
I really wasn't raised. Mom basically pointed in one direction and said "That's the good way."...then pointed in the other direction and said "That's the bad way...choose."
Big Smiles. It was the opposite in my house. Actually, that isn't true. My dad never spanked us. I could imagine he could deliver a huge wallop but he left that to mom. A little women, yes. A HUGE person with emotion, yes. Explosives come in small packages! Great comeback ALF! :) :)
But for all the less-than-wondrous aspects of my being raised, I don't think I'd change a thing. There were some terrible times/years/challenges but within it all was love and joyous times; love being expressed by all as best we could. And I look at my siblings and I can think of few people in the world more loving, funny and caring. That says a lot of great things of what we all went through and how our parents parented us.
For fear of turning out differently than I have, I think I'd leave things as they were/are. :)
Benedict Arnold 