There is no small talk. No "How's the weather?" No "How have you been?" And, I'm pretty sure, "I heard you're dying. That sucks." probably doesn't cut it.
Early and open communication is vital
I told my mother-in-law that, if it was OK with her I would like to be close to her right now or something like that. I thanked her for many things and all she had meant to me in my life. We talked about some funny stories and memories. She cried about not being here for my girls' weddings and great grandchildren. She told me she was ready to go and I told her I was not ready. I was very honest. You know me.....................
I still miss her.