I'll adopt you and marry some old rich guy from this retirement center. We both need money, you and I. I'd hate to make you work if you aren't up to it. LOL
What have I got to lose? That is if I ever get my first marriage officially over/divorced. I'm not looking to get married again, but if I fell in love again to someone new and she wanted to marry me I probably would. I'm crazy enough to try it again, LoL!
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at August 21, 2017 3:03 AM MDT
Well, the prospects are looking awfully bleak. I married the first woman that would talk to me and it has been more than forty years since I exed her and I still haven't found another female who wants to talk to me.
This post was edited by Not Sure at August 21, 2017 3:03 AM MDT
In the grand scheme of things, marriage is an independent concept, apart from love and a lasting relationship. I do want it, but I'd gladly sacrifice that dream if giving it up results in a lifetime of love/ happiness.
I'd much rather have a relationship that's marriage-worthy than a marriage, itself. Someone who is genuinely happy to come home every night. Someone who thinks of me throughout the day. Someone who will be unquestioningly faithful. For both of us to feel like the relationship is loving and supportive- a safe harbor from the world.
When you've already been divorced, you're older and (hopefully) wiser. You can appreciate how sensitive and delicate relationships are, and you know that they take effort to make them work. When you can say "I do," knowing that hard work lies ahead, the meaning of it is deeper. It's like saying, "The world has chewed me up and spit me out, but I believe in you and I believe in us enough to create something that's beautiful and lasting." I want that and I don't know if there's a way to demonstrate that type of commitment without marriage.
At the same time, I know marriage doesn't mean forever. It doesn't make a person faithful. It doesn't keep someone there. It is only as meaningful as both people make it.
I will take whatever hand of cards life deals me and do the best I can with it.
"It is only as meaningful as both people make it." You and your wife have something special and I think you know that.
Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce here. Most of the time, it isn't forever.
To say you meant it almost sounds condescending. Most people mean it. Making meaningful vows doesn't change how people will behave in the future. If your wife became an addict and refused to get help, would you still say "forever?" What if she became mentally unstable and became a danger to you and your children? What if she cleared out your savings and sold all your assets and spent them on herself? What if she called you names and belittled you on a daily basis? What if she had an affair and wanted to leave? Think about all those what-ifs. Seriously consider them. From what I've heard of your wife, she's an amazing person who wouldn't do any of those things, but what if she did? If you couldn't fix the problems, would you still be in it until death?
I've never heard you say one bad thing about your wife, nor about challenges that have divided you. You're both human, so I assume you have them, but most of the time, it sounds like you've got something beautifully solid that you both work hard to maintain. That makes you very blessed. I hope you realize that and that, if things are how they seem, you are the lucky exception.
She did become mentally unstable after the twins were stillborn, postnatal psychosis isn't a laughing matter. I got help, we got through it - hypnosis, antidepressants and she meditates daily, only has the occasional episode now. She nursed me through the dark days when my back collapsed and I became addicted to prescription painkillers. For better and for worse. In sickness and in health. What we've been through already should have driven a wedge into our relationship. It hasn't - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I don't want to turn this into a debate. I respect you and I'm genuinely envious of the relationship you have with your wife. I'm glad you guys were able to make it through those things together, but you've also proven my point. You worked on things together.
Perhaps nobody expresses it better than Billy Joel.
So I would choose to be with you That's if the choice were mine to make But you can make decisions too And you can have this heart to break
Relationships take two. For better or for worse, your wife is your other half. That isn't always so... even when we say "forever." Even when we mean it. Even when we do our best to support our spouses in sickness and in health. Half of the relationship will always be beyond our control. And, even when we choose to weather the storm, there's no guarantee our spouses will be beside us on the other side of it. And so it goes.
WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH 