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What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS?

Posted - September 6, 2017

Responses


  • 6126
    "I can forgive, but I'll never forget."    

    I've always felt if someone doesn't forget about a particular incident, they haven't really forgiven the other person. 
      September 6, 2017 5:31 PM MDT
    9

  • 2658
    I'll remember not to make the same mistake, if applicable.
      September 6, 2017 5:58 PM MDT
    2

  • 22853
    Hi Harry!
    I get your point. yes. and it's a good point.

    But for me, if I don't remember what happened in this one instance, I can see myself falling right back into and under that person's power/influence. For me, I have forgiven but, for my own well-being and safety, I need to remember the extreme hurtful actions (police were even involved at one point) that person did against me.

    I still understand where you're coming from, though, Harry.
    :) This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at September 7, 2017 9:55 AM MDT
      September 6, 2017 8:11 PM MDT
    2

  • 6126
    I also understand what you're saying Welby.  For all of us, it's useful to not forget the incident, as part of the life experience learning curve.  But, when it comes to the specific person involved, if you really think about it, when you don't completely forget the incident, there will always be a piece of you that just won't fully trust the other person as you once did. That means, there's a small part of you that can't really forgive him/her. ;-)
      September 7, 2017 9:59 AM MDT
    1

  • 22853
    Put that way, yes, then I haven't totally forgiven - -because that trust between us is gone. (At least my trust in this person is gone on my part.)
    And I'm OK with that then.

    If I didn't forgive totally, then I didn't. There's a word I can't think of at the moment -- self-"something." I need to self-"something" for myself and to step back in with that person, totally forgiving them and forgetting everything they did, would be foolish of me.
    At least, that's my take on it.
    Regardless, I see your point more clearly now. Thanks for your patience, Harry!
    :)
      September 7, 2017 8:13 PM MDT
    1

  • 6126
    Welby, the word you're looking for is "self-preservation."  ;-)

    No need to thank me for my patience honey.  I appreciate the fact that we can have a logical discussion and exchange of ideas.  There's nothing worse than having a thread breakdown and devolve into a hate fest because people can't get past their own egos.  xoxo
      September 7, 2017 8:30 PM MDT
    1

  • 22853
    Self-preservation! That's it!
    :)
    Thanks for helping me out there.

    Agreed, too, on exchanging our ideas.
    :)
      September 7, 2017 8:40 PM MDT
    1

  • When people are asked how they're doing, or "How's it going", and they reply, "Living the dream." How many of us are truly happy and feel we're living the dream? Not near as many as who use that phrase.
      September 6, 2017 5:37 PM MDT
    8

  • 2658
    Give To The World The Best You Have, And The Best Will Come Back To You...
      September 6, 2017 5:46 PM MDT
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  • "You only hurt the ones you love."

    What does that mean?
    If you truly love someone then why would you hurt them?

    It just seems like it should be "You only GET hurt by the ones you love" or "You only hurt the ones you DON'T love."
    What am I not understanding about this saying?



      September 6, 2017 5:59 PM MDT
    9

  • 7132
    Unless you believe your ex doesn't/didn't truly love you, the saying applies to her, yes?    
      September 6, 2017 6:04 PM MDT
    3

  • I believe that she didn't truly love me.
    I could NEVER have done the things she did and to the extent that she did them.

    I loved her and would never have wanted to hurt her or my son.

    Nobody is perfect, but she didn't just make a mistake, she had entire relationships on the side and lied to us constantly.
    She told me that she was sorry and that she loves me, but I told her that you don't do things like that to people you really love.
    I told her "You do not love me!"



      September 6, 2017 6:16 PM MDT
    6

  • 7132
    Please don't ever think I'm defending what she did. Because it's indefensible. Sounds like she could use some psychological help. What I'm wondering is whether it's possible that she loved you the best she could with the tools she was given (or not given) from her birth family. Do you think her intention was to hurt you or your son? Again, this is not to justify what she did, just an attempt to understand.
      September 6, 2017 6:23 PM MDT
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  • You're right she didn't have an example of a marriage growing up.
    She has had some messed up stuff happen to her in her past and she does need counselling.
    She didn't want to hurt us, but she is selfish and very inconsiderate and she has 2 sides to her and she will always lie to get what she wants.
    She was more loving during certain times in our marriage, but I don't completely understand how she could do these things, I'm still shocked, I'm still confused.
    I loved her and took care of her and thought that I knew her better than anyone on earth.
    I was with her for 15 years.
    It could be a personality disorder or something, but I know that I can't be with her because I can NEVER trust her and I don't believe that she really wants to change.
    Not for very long anyway.
    So I gave up on her not because I don't love her, but because I don't think she loves me.


      September 6, 2017 7:51 PM MDT
    2

  • 7132
    A wise decision to distance yourself from someone who's had such a toxic effect on your life. I would imagine that even she doesn't understand how she could do the things she did. And it might just be that she can't love anyone else because she doesn't love herself.
      September 6, 2017 8:03 PM MDT
    3

  • You may be right about that too because she told me that she is a b*tch and a wh**re and that hurt people, hurt people.

    I think that she carried around lot of guilt while she was cheating and she blamed us for her guilt and she became incredibly hard to live with.
    I remember going on another q&a site at that time and asking questions about "Why does my wife not come home and won't clean up after herself and threatens to move away with our child if I ask her about it?"
    "Why has she become so mean?"
    I remember a woman telling me that my wife is having an affair and is taking her guilt out on us.
    The woman said that she's speaking from experience.
    Everyone else on that q&a site jumped all over the woman telling her that it was wrong to assume my wife was cheating, but looking back that woman who replied was exactly right.
    After seeing the damage it did to me my wife told me "Maybe I just shouldn't be in relationships at all anymore, all I do is hurt people."
    So I think she is very confused as well and she doesn't tell anyone what she did.
    I think she makes up lies about why our marriage ended.
    I don't know what to think about her anymore or how to love her or help her in a healthy way.
    I do have to distance myself or she will either turn me into her or cause me to do something crazy because I can't handle being hurt anymore. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 7, 2017 5:43 PM MDT
      September 7, 2017 8:58 AM MDT
    2

  • 7132
    Distance sounds like the healthy way to go. I'm sure you realize that it's not your job to help her except perhaps in the sense of supporting her being a good mother and hopefully getting help so you two can effectively co-parent your son.
      September 7, 2017 5:56 PM MDT
    0

  • 7132
    This too shall pass.

    Time heals all wounds.

    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

    God doesn't give you any more than you can handle.









      September 6, 2017 6:01 PM MDT
    8

  • 7776
    God needs to be kicked in the balls.
      September 6, 2017 6:03 PM MDT
    7

  • 14795
    I'm up first for doing that....   :)
      September 6, 2017 6:26 PM MDT
    4

  • "This is gonna hurt me more than it does you."

      September 6, 2017 6:13 PM MDT
    8

  • 9777
    Everything happens for a reason.  (Some people really believe this and if you're one of them, don't bother trying to tell me I'm wrong.)
      September 6, 2017 6:21 PM MDT
    9

  • 7132
    Ugh, I hate being told that. Try telling it to an abused woman or child. Grrrrrr.........
      September 6, 2017 6:25 PM MDT
    4

  • 46117
    All of them. 

    Once they become popular, they seldom make any points because it falls into the "they say" category. 


    But you know what?  A stitch in time does save nine.  That is a true one. 


    Here's one that is total b.s.:   You always say the truth when you are drunk.   NOPE. This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at September 7, 2017 9:56 AM MDT
      September 6, 2017 7:51 PM MDT
    7