Could somebody please explain in very simple terms how it's possible to exercise free speech without attacking someone?

Don't include the words or phrases you,you people, people like you, etc while expressing your opinion on a subject. That's a start.

Don't make it personal.

I have my particular set of spiritual beliefs.  They may be different from yours.

We are both ok.

That´s how it should be done, but sadly it isn´t.

Okay.  I will give it a stab.   Since I am guilty of attacking people.   I admit it. 

Why I am chiming in here is to let everyone who reads this piece know that if you want to be heard, you don't do that.   When I attack, I am in effect, out of control.    Everyone can see it but the person acting out.  In this case I will use me.

Now, Just Asking and I have had some real arguments in the past.   I don't agree with her but she tries to hear people out and do what is right.  Why I have the privilege of speaking with the woman is because I see her side IMMEDIATELY.

I am a person ON the site.   I am not paying for, running and working the site.  I have not devoted 5 plus years to perfecting the site.  So, I need to tread carefully.

Just Asking has kept this site alive.   I am grateful.  If she tells me that people are upset by something I am doing?  I STOP IT.   I apologize and I think about it.

Sometimes I am right and she is wrong.   Big deal.  This is not the way to look at it.  We are a family of sorts.   She tries to make it so we all get along.  But she can only do so much.

So, if you are asked not to say or do something?  I HATE THAT.  I know.  But I listen.   Just because I think it is cute to post a Nazi swastika, does not mean that someone else is not offended and hurt by that. 

Other people's valid feelings are more important that bitching that you can't say HOMO or N***er on here.  It hurts people.  Doesn't that come first? 

This is not first grade.  I know how it feels when someone hurts me.   I don't want to do that to anyone.  I can speak correctly and civilized.  That is earned speech.

You think there is FREE SPEECH meaning you can vomit out anything you please?   WHERE?  At your school?  At home?  Have you tried calling your mom a CU*T lately?   I think you would have a black eye in most homes if you tried that free speech bull.  

We are on this planet together.  There are laws.  There are rules.  There are codes. Fine and dandy.  Let's try a little less LETTER OF THE LAW and a little more human decency.

Calling me a CU*T is not free speech.  It is a lawsuit waiting to happen.   Just Asking does not deserve this headache when all she is trying to do is make a sane site with simple rules most people who are adults should know how to follow

Use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. 

E.G.- I believe that Donald Trump is an arrogant, misogynistic, racist, narcissistic bigot who has no business being the president of the United States or any other country. 

Rather than "You're an idiot for supporting an arrogant, misogynistic, racist, narcissistic bigot who has no business being the president..."

Hehe! Sorry... I couldn't resist! : )

There are many places where "freedom of speech" and "freedom to be a dick" intersect. There are even more places, maybe an infinite number, where they don't. So if you're defending your right to be a dick with "freedom of speech", you are doing it wrong.

WOW that was excellent.

I went on and on and you summed it up so beautifuly xo

real good point. 

Haha your answer was definitely more colourful though :P

This answer needed to be edited.  IT is way too long and I apologize.   I thought I had some time but it cut me off.  I just vomited that out and went back to cut it down and make more sense and I could not.  So I am left with that rambling piece.

I would like to add that  saying words are fine.  Saying C*nt (spelled that way) or anything like N**GER or whatever is fine, if you DO NOT CALL PEOPLE THAT.  I don't think I made that as clear as I'd hoped.  I mean that is free speech.  Calling someone a racial slur is a penalty.

If you disagree with an idea aim your response at the idea, not the persion expressing it.
If you think a statement is wrong or false, give the facts.
If you believe someone is voicing an opinion to threaten someone or be dliberatlely offensive, say so, report what they've said, and ignore them.

Remember that free speech is protected because because honest options and ideas are what make a society free . Attacking someone rarely changes their mind . People come and go, but the truth will find its way out no matter how deep its buried.

I appreciate your thoughts on this. Rambling or not, you covered all the bases. 

lol That is exactly right though, in terms of how it's presented. It's very timely as well, which makes it a perfect example. 

Beautifully said. 

Several years ago on Answerbag I posted the following question (not 100% exact reproduction)

"Should the Stupid Evil Commie Anti-American Freedom-Hating Liberals take pains to avoid the Epithet Fallacy?"

The question was motivated by another Answerbager with whom I had disagreements and who freely fired insults about me and people who shared my political orientation. When I responded in kind, he responded indignantly, " Epithet Fallacy! You Stupid Evil Commie Liberals never have any facts. All you do is call names!"

Yes, he really was that lacking in self-awareness.

And that's central to the problem. What you will frequently find is people who believe (whether consciously or subconsciouly)  they are engaged in a Manichean struggle against a great Evil/Untruth are unable to see their attacks as attacks. In their own mind, they are simply "telling the truth" about the target(s) of their attacks.

If you point out to such people that they are attacking others, they will complain about censorship and/or hide behind the magic talisman phrase, "Well, I'm just not politically correct."

I am unaware of any reliable methods for helping people who are strongly motivated in this fashion to understand how others perceive their behavior.

1. It's ok for people to have opinions and beliefs that are different than mine, and vice versa.

2. Not everyone has to agree about every little thing.

3. When others have their own thoughts, that doesn't automatically make me smarter than they are, or vice versa.

4. Openmindedness DOES NOT mean someone who agrees with me. It means the ability to look at things from different perspectives, especially perspectives with which I disagree or have never heard of before. If I am truly openminded, I can accept that I may be wrong about something.

5. I have not experienced every possible scenario in this world, and no matter how intelligent I am, how well-read, how well-traveled, how well-educated, other people's experiences, intelligence, readings, travels and education may give them insight that I do not possess.

6. We have two ears and only one mouth because listening is more important than talking.

7. It is better to listen to understand than it is to talk to be understood.

8. I don't have to "win" every argument or be right every time.

9. I already know what I think and believe what I believe, so there are certain things that no amount of arguing will change my mind, but guess what? The next person may be the same way, so I'm not going to convince him or her to see it my way. See point #1 in that case.

(I'm quickly running out of gas here, sorry.)

Oh. My, Word. Your AB quote is one for the books. I probably would have framed the response and hung it on my wall. lol 

But, yes, you are spot on with the "defenses." There are a whole lot of great responses here from people of every walk of life, so perhaps the people who have trouble identifying their attacks will read and learn. *fingers crossed* 

Nine rules to Mug by is pretty good. That's kind of catchy, actually, and they're all good points.

JA,

We all start off writing here full of enthusiasm and "innocence", if that is the right description. Nobody is his right mind sets off with the intention of attacking anybody. We are not professional writers, just wanna-bes, and we're thankful to find your site so we can have an outlet to whatever we feel inside, whether small time personal stories or beliefs. We are here to share and to connect with like-minded people; to have fun.

The attacking starts when someone who dislikes what you have written and instead of just skipping it, attacks the writer. As in my case, I am the least knowledgeable person here as someone pointed out to me, but I keep on writing because I find it therapeutic and a joy to write. Then, these are the words spit out on me: "You are the lowest form of all creatures...a moron...what nationality are you, you do not understand our language. You do not understand English at all. You are a shame..."...and many many more. Who is a decent adult person to use such derogatory words?

I reacted once, but I don't anymore because as in our private conversations with our own circle of friends, we all agree that it just sucks the peace in us, if we respond.

We don't attack people as we write. It's in the comments that starts the unpleasantries. And please don't get me wrong, as adults, we can handle some bad comments, trolls every now and then, but there are commentators (it's repetitive/a pattern for them) who are just so rude, they just drain you.

Bottomline is, we all can disagree in a pleasant RESPECTFUL way, take away the aggressive language or derogatory words that we don't normally use, because we know it's not right.

Respect.

We don't know if the people we interact with are professionals, respected members of the community, heroes in their own way, good fathers or mothers. We are not all the same. The only common denominator we have is we're all in this together, for different reasons. Perhaps we want to experience a world different from our realities; to scape; to be kids once again and just have fun. Will we do the attacking in real life? Is it necessary to ruin everyone's thought or opinion? PAUSE. Do we have to abuse this site and keep on acting out?

Thank you, JA, for reaching out with this question.