Have you ever been criticized for a quality that you love about yourself?

The arrogance of excellence always angers those who are simply used to being arrogant without either the knowledge to support it or without the presence of those easily capable of challenging their ignorance.

And like you, I usually limit my comments to areas and subjects that I am most familiar with.

Indeed. The "arrogance of excellence" is, to my mind, the playing out of one's conviction to purpose. I could not have articulated it any better than you have.

Dang...you sound just like me; therefore you stole my answer. Welcome to AM...there are plenty of us here like you and me. When someone does criticise me I smile and thank them.

Paul has a great beard in this video. 

There is much to be said for unfettered honesty here.

There should be no question why you laugh so much, it should be why don't they.  

   Joie de vie - all too rare. This post was edited by Don Barzini at September 30, 2017 5:57 AM MDT

This doesn't make sense (to me). In my mind, honest to a fault would indicate that you didn't spare people's feelings with small untruths; e.g.- "yes, that dress does make you look fat", "well, yeah, that zit is quite noticeable", "Since you asked, you really should invest in botox". Hehehe!

I'm sometimes torn between telling the absolute truth and sparing someone's feelings. I think I've become pretty good at gauging whether or not the person really wants the truth or if they just want to hear what they want to hear. If that makes sense. If it's someone I respect and care about, I give them the truth. We can't change things about ourselves unless we know, you know?

Hi.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I think my mother was more irritated because at that time I was obsessed with never borrowing, never taking a day off work, I'd never cheat on my time sheet and
I would pay people every nickel if we shared a bill.
My brother was irritated because I wasn't treated very well in my last relationship, but I always gave her another chance and I felt sorry for her and I gave her the benefit of the doubt and he would shake his head and tell me "There's something wrong with you, other people don't care about people's feelings like that."
As far as telling people the truth about themselves, usually the real truth is that it's not necessary to hurt people's feelings to get your point across and so to tell people if they look fat in a dress or that you're sick of them is just being a jerk.
I would say "You look good in that dress, but I think you'd look amazing in this one."
There's always a way to to tell the truth AND be nice.
Thanks for the reply. : ) This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 30, 2017 5:45 AM MDT

I understand. The idea of doing the right thing for nothing (other than it's the right thing) is completely foreign to many people. Like volunteering and then going on and on about it, you know? Are you doing it because it's the right thing to do, or are you doing it to brag about it? 

I've learned that when you come from a place of compassion rather than judgment, most people are a lot more open to hearing the truth, even if it's not exactly what they hope to hear. I know my above examples were superficial, and a bit frivolous, I suppose. Being both kind AND honest is definitely the goal. Well, it's my goal, at least. :)

Yeah, I just try to follow my heart.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I don't really do it for attention.
I do it because I have a conscience.
I'm not perfect so if someone attacks me I will react otherwise I just try to be thoughtful and kind and honest.
Thanks. : )

It sounds like you're on a good path. No one is perfect.

Maybe you should have told him to bugger off, or was he the violent red-neck type?

lol "Bugger off" would have been appropriate. He was from the UK. Actually, a bit of a scientist and engineer. Brilliant man who was behind a few great inventions we use today. In fact, I think you'd like him. I certainly did, and still do. His brain fascinates me. He can be a bit gruff sometimes, but he's an overall good and caring person. The only time I ever fought with him was when he felt like I disrespected his wife and this time here, and that's what made this remark so out of place. I always thought he and I got along famously, and he always did right by me. I disagreed with him on this particular philosophy, but overall, I respect the hell out of him. *sigh* I miss my in-laws now. Dang it.

The only way I can make sense of that comment is by connecting it to instances I know of where positive intentions arguably impacted people's lives for the worse. Constructing a fish oil refinery in Bangladesh, for instance, which offered the local populace conventional work but deprived them of their main source of food. Children began working there too, and the money they made mostly went to buying food; in other words, little advanced in terms of end result, but those people lost pretty much any independence they had, as well as their customs, and now work in a factory instead of performing tasks that are certainly much more pleasing. Problem is, that oil refinery is beneficial to others--those who do, by contrast, make use of biodiesel.

I assume your father-in-law was thinking of this type of scenario, but I certainly find your altruism admirable. Unfortunately, doing the right thing can apparently be pretty complicated--I don't put much trust in charities either, and find problematic the insistence on embedding other people within the predominant Western or capitalist mode. Let me stress again, though, how good a quality of yours I believe that willingness and dedication is.

Thank you. You're on the right track with your example. People have said the same thing about Tom's shoes. They do a buy a pair, give a pair thing, so when you buy one pair of shoes, someone in a developing nation gets a pair free. Apparently, that screws everyone, from the local shoemakers all the way through the people who make the fabrics and grow the raw materials for shoes there. So, I can kind of see it, but even still, I think it's important to help people, but be mindful that you're not paralyzing them by helping. 

It is difficult to assign motives to somebody, the more so as they(we) often do not have a motive for what we do.