How about being cherishly respected? I would much rather be respected because I don't need people kneeling at me and thinking I am all "that." I am not. I am a good "Merlin" who does a lot of good and some bad too. Just like you :) We all need a little respect in our lives.
This post was edited by Merlin at February 2, 2018 3:00 PM MST
I was reading something from a psychologist who writes on relationships, and she said that all relationships require one party to have female energy and the other to have masculine energy. Either person can have either energy, but if they fight for the same one, the relationship is destined to fail. So, going by that premise, the female energy should aim to be cherished for feelings and the masculine energy should aim to be respected for thoughts.
It's those "shouldas, wouldas, and couldas," that get me every time! Big winks and smiles! The yin and the yang may come into play here too. Since we all have both maybe we could start by cherishing and respecting ourselves. Then, others might follow suit?! :)
Which, respectfully, is nonsense. Like somehow each partner is not capable of thoughts and feelings? And oh since when was it "female" not to think or "male" not to feel?
That's actually the premise of it- this came from a psychologist I was reading- that there must be one of each in a relationship- a cherished one and a respected one. The respected one will cherish the other, provided s/he feels respected.
I'm doted on if ever I'm the tiniest bit unwell....but I'm always a bit stroppy and extreamly cheeky in a very respectful way I think... Life is pretty good and if I feel neglected I kind of kick up a tiny bit.....we all know our pecking order though and it's both nice and satisfying all rolled into one ...lol
The question said "you." Ergo, I'm not concerned about "most people." There are no holes in the question unless you can't define value to either of the terms.
Ooh... That would be the question of the day, dear knight. I'm playing with something a psychologist said, and if her concept is right, then you don't respect me... not as an equal. By that premise, you should, however, cherish me as someone you value and want to look out for. The logic was that the masculine energy, if respected, will always default to protective mode in the presence of a feminine energy.
I may not be explaining it well... because it sounds very sexist- her theory was that either the male or the female could have either energy, but for a relationship to work, there must be both energies and each one must stick to his or her role- the respected or the cherished. And, while most women do want to be respected- particularly intelligent career women- the psychologist said most women, if given the choice, will choose to be cherished for their virtue and heart over respected for their accomplishments and leadership, whereas men would feel the opposite. I'm curious to know if she's right.
I actually came across something she said in a search I ran for an unrelated topic, and then ended up buying the book because the concepts outlined intrigued me. Don't judge. lol
But, yeah, the whole last chapter of the book talks about how the dynamics change later in life due to hormones, and she also covers that either party can take either role, and can even divvy things up by area of life, but the main point was that couples can't bring forth the same energy in any given circumstance or it doesn't work. I guess, to simplify, one must always lead and the other follow, or one must be the giver and the other the take. To each, she assigns an energy, either masculine or feminine. I wouldn't be surprised if most people with lengthy and happy marriages agree, though I'm probably not doing her work justice at all with my explanation.
But isn't that so obvious? I do my husband's feet so he will release tension and feel good. He does mine so I will do the same. Like the old song goes "I give to you and you give to me...".
Can't I have both? If I had to choose then I take respect.. just because... Seriously, I really don't like it when I feel I am not respected whereas I can accept that there are more than a few people out there who don't cherish me
But it is what it is regardless of what you may choose to call it. I would say I am doing pretty well to be both cherished and respected. One or the other. Everything else is just a silly game which I won't play because it doesn't seem to lead anywhere good.
Merlin 