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Discussion » Questions » Family » Do you wish you had more children than you have, or fewer? Why?

Do you wish you had more children than you have, or fewer? Why?

Posted - February 8, 2018

Responses


  • 666
    At one time I wanted to have two or more children, but I didn't have a solid relationship or the money or time to raise them like I would want to.
    I just have one child now and he makes me happy. This post was edited by Summer at February 9, 2018 6:34 AM MST
      February 8, 2018 1:59 PM MST
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  • 7919
    I can't imagine a parent wishing they had fewer children- not altogether. It's like wishing away one of their kids. 

    I didn't plan to have the size of family I do, but I wouldn't trade my children for the world. I love being a mother and I love being around kids, but I also do not want to have any more of my own and had surgery to prevent any more little Just Askings. At the same time, I still enjoy the family lifestyle and being a part of someone's growth and development. I would love to have a larger family. Whether that happens through being with someone who has children as well or through fostering, I'm indifferent. Life will give me what it will, but I do know one way or the other, I'm not done adding to my family yet. I don't plan on changing anything for the next several years, but I do know there will be more children in my life. 
      February 8, 2018 2:05 PM MST
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  • 3375
    Love this!  Sums up exactly how I feel.  
      February 8, 2018 2:41 PM MST
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  • 6477
    Oh lol I was going to say I wish I had NONE as regards children... then I read JA's response and now I feel guilty.. I love my offspring to bits, they are way, way more hassle than most people have to endure as they all have disabilities and my daughter is especially hard work... she causes me no end of problems.. including today - you wouldnt believe the hassle she caused me... sigh...  

    But I love her... and my sons... they have brought me so much... in terms of experience, compassion, love... 

    even so I would choose not to have kids if I had my time again.. i'd be richer, less worried looking, less hassled, less tired and probably slimmer, healthier etc..  they take so much out of us
      February 8, 2018 3:45 PM MST
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  • 16240
    Two more - because  I wish our twin girls weren't stillborn. They'd be 27 now.
      February 8, 2018 6:11 PM MST
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  • I'm so sorry to hear that, Start. I've often fantasised I have twin boys who would be around 20.
      February 9, 2018 11:23 AM MST
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  • 6098
    Well I don't have any of my own. Always assumed I just would but always had some ambivalence about it.  Never did much to prevent it and quite held that it would be the apex of my experience as a women.  But at the same time I wondered about the context - shouldn't it be in a close continuing relationship with someone who loves me - which I never really had - and I questioned my potential fitness as a mother.  I had miscarriages probably as a result of the drugs I did when young but which I could not help seeing partly as judgment against me - for my profligate lifestyle as well as an unfortunate abortion I had when I was 19.  Which I wanted but as soon as I had it knew was wrong. 

    Which often haunts me because there is all this nurture with no place to go. I can just lavish so much on my husband before he feels I am smothering him and lets me know is too much.  I have stepdaughters, a step grandson, nieces and nephews and their children I just love to bits but they are not really mine.  In the last ten years on the net I have formed sort of mentoring relationships with young women which I have felt good about but am always rather devastated when they decide to put an end to them and I just never hear from them again.  Guess that is sort of pathetic right?  Or maybe not. I have accepted it and we all make our choices and have out lives to live. 
      February 9, 2018 7:00 AM MST
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  • 22891
    i wish i had had children but i never got married and cant make them by myself
      February 9, 2018 4:38 PM MST
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  • 97
    I thank God I never had kids.  I wouldn't want to condemn some poor kid to a lifetime of looking like me.
      February 10, 2018 11:50 PM MST
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  • 3684
    I have always wanted, and succeeded in my aim, never to breed. Even when young enough to do so.

    I could not have coped with a family, and to have children when you are in that situation is extremely unfair on everyone involved.
      February 18, 2018 6:32 PM MST
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