Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Do you automatically assume that people who aren't popular within a group must be the problem?

Do you automatically assume that people who aren't popular within a group must be the problem?

Have you ever experienced a situation where the group was jealous of the person for whatever reason?
Maybe they ganged up or jumped on the bandwagon of hate in order to control that person or to possibly control how others view that person?


Posted - June 29, 2018

Responses


  • 5835
    You have asked two questions. Which one are we supposed to discuss?
      June 29, 2018 6:40 PM MDT
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  • 666
    Both.
      June 29, 2018 8:26 PM MDT
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  • 5614
    I may assume they are the most independent. Outside the Alpha there is the Omega type personality just as strong as the Alpha but far less socially oriented. They are akin to a lone wolf or lion without a pride and is somewhat an outcast but not in a degenerate way. All Betas follow the Alpha. No one follows the Omega. The Alpha and Omega are naturally at odds with each other and because of the Alpha's advanced social skills is able to bias Betas against the Omega. This post was edited by O-uknow at June 29, 2018 9:10 PM MDT
      June 29, 2018 9:03 PM MDT
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  • 666
    Thanks for the response.
    I think that I may be an Omega?
    I spend a lot of time alone just working and taking care of my son.
    I'm pretty independent.
    Some people spread lies about me to try to control how others see me.
    People who know me, know that I'm totally different.
    I just keep to myself these days.
    I don't bother making many "Guy friends."
    I have nothing against other males, I just have work to do and I'm just not interested in being part of a group.
    Any free time is spent with my child.

      June 29, 2018 9:16 PM MDT
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  • 5614
    Sounds like an Omega or a MGTOW.
      June 30, 2018 4:50 PM MDT
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  • 666
    Hmm....
    That's interesting, but I think that I would only relate to certain characteristics of an MGTOW.
    I guess the difference with me is that I don't think that it's just women who are capable of cheating, using people etc.
    I think that everyone is capable to a degree. I'm a little frustrated with people in general, myself included.
    I haven't sworn off of relationships with women or being in love.
    I just feel like I know what people are capable of now.
    I know that people aren't perfect and I should love and enjoy relationships, but also be realistic and protect myself better.
    I know what to expect now.
    I don't hate women and I haven't decided to avoid them forever.
    I'm just gonna try to love smarter in the future and not let my whole life revolve around my relationship.

    Thanks for mentioning "Omegas and MGTOW's."
    It is interesting and I'm sure there are some valid reasons for the MGTOW movement, but it does seem a tad bit extreme.
    I do enjoy relationships with women, I just don't expect them to last forever anymore.
    I'm going to look out for my own happiness more similar to an MGTOW lifestyle, but hopefully from within relationships.
    Be less of a Simp basically right?


      June 30, 2018 8:08 PM MDT
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  • 5614
    MGTOW doesn't have a life style per se. The movement is about awareness of the nature of women and how the system venerates them above men. That is what being red pilled is. Where there is understanding there is little room for HATE. MGTOW does not teach you shouldn't have relationships with women. It just wants you to understand what you are getting into if you should decide to. It is however anti marriage and the movement sees the institution of marriage as a losing proposition for men with and without a prenuptial agreement. With kids even worse. *sigh*.
      June 30, 2018 10:03 PM MDT
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  • 666
    I definitely agree that more men should be aware of the nature of women and how relationships change over time. Marriage can be a tricky situation. I prefer to get married when we're both broke. LoL!
    Seriously though, it's better to build a life together from scratch than to enter into marriage with money and assets, then lose half.
    The part about having children is dependent on the situation. I actually look after my son a lot more than my ex.
    We don't pay each other anything and I do get screwed out of money and time to work. However, I have an awesome little boy and he's my best friend. I don't ever regret having a child.
    I may be "Red pilled" to a degree though.
    I definitely don't trust women anymore. I don't trust anyone unless they earn it.
    I do worry that the system assumes men are to blame in a lot of situations.
    I'm not positive because I haven't really been through the system, but I know that my ex can lie to people and tell them that she has full custody of our child and they believe her. They just assume that I'm a deadbeat dad.
    Nobody seems to believe that it's really the other way around. She is very much an absentee parent and she was also guilty of infidelity.
    It does hurt my feelings that people don't know the truth or understand how much I've been through.They just assume that the woman is the victim.
    I think the important thing for men to remember is that none of us are perfect. I think we all need to be very careful about who we get involved with.
    Watch people's actions not just what they say and learn to let go if they're shady.
    That's what I'm trying to learn because in the past I couldn't let go of women and I gave them a million chances.
    It's stupid. I just need to love and respect myself more.
    There's billions of women out there, why suffer in a bad situation?
    I'm trying to care less about them. It's hard and it goes against everything that I was used to as a loving husband.








      June 30, 2018 10:44 PM MDT
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  • 5614
    A good woman is a high value gem. So is a good man but if a woman must sleep with a thousand frogs to find one prince she ain't no princess.
      July 1, 2018 11:29 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Perhaps not but we can enjoy ourselves doing it!
      July 1, 2018 11:54 AM MDT
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  • 7919
    I don't see those types of dynamics in adult social circles. Most seem to be really accepting an there's no popularity battle. I do, however, see similar stuff with groups of employees and family and there's usually a story/ history behind it. The "fault" could go either way. 
      June 29, 2018 9:53 PM MDT
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  • 666
    Thanks.
    I get what you mean about the history behind it.
    When family have a falling out sometimes it seems like it goes on for years.
    After marriages end people trash talk and blame, blame, blame.
    I see it sometimes on reality TV shows where one person is cast out of the group and sometimes for good reason.
    Other times it's almost as if the nicest person gets sh_t on and abused by the group.
    If that individual is more popular or famous outside of the show Than the rest, look out.
    It's like they purposely try to paint that person as the worst human being.
    They seem to want to keep that person close and control them and how people view them.
    They seem to do it as a group.
    Sorry if I'm rambling on, but I used to watch Jersey Shore sometimes and I just noticed throughout the seasons that they are a bunch of a__holes at times.
    They also seem to gang up "Mike" a lot.
    He's not perfect by any means, but they try to paint him as being worst than they are.
    I haven't really seen evidence if him being any worst or more immature than the rest of the cast.
    He was more famous though and richer at one time.
    I always found it interesting that they gang up on him and seem to use him as a scape goat for everything bad that happens.
    I've found that in my own life at times as well.
    The nicer I am the more I get abused.
    It's part of why I keep to myself, I guess?


    This post was edited by Summer at July 1, 2018 12:29 AM MDT
      June 29, 2018 10:29 PM MDT
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  • 5835
    Answerbag was the most recent example. All the regulars (four people) ganged up on me because I only posted answers, rarely questions. So I stopped going there. After a few months of not logging in, my name suddenly showed up on the leader board. (Because nobody else was posting either.) When times are slow at AB, the software pulls random posts out of the archives and runs them again. "Anonymous" made the list twice in that same period.

    Before that was reddit. Reddit cuts your posting privileges when downvotes exceed upvotes. Two freaking thirds of my downvotes came from posting bible verses in a Christian subreddit. I stopped going there. In my book, that is equivalent to a drive-by shooting. Or, if you're English, a drive-by knifing.

    I almost forgot! There was a philosophy forum, "Galileo's Library" or some such. Philosophers recite names of famous philosophers and big words that are not used for any other purpose, but they do not consider it important to actually say anything. They get very ugly when somebody points out that their multi-syllabic pronouncements are devoid of meaning. This post was edited by Not Sure at June 30, 2018 10:37 AM MDT
      June 30, 2018 4:08 AM MDT
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  • 666
    Oh yes.
    I've definitely had people gang up on me while using Q&A sites.
    I've had quite a history of that myself.
    Sometimes it was the same person with multiple profiles attacking me or someone who ran the site who didn't like me and would purposely mess with my questions and move them to editing constantly until I would have to change profiles.
    These type of sites are famous for having cliques.
    Some people have had my back over the years.
    For the most part Answermug is more accepting.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences. : )


    This post was edited by Summer at June 30, 2018 10:47 AM MDT
      June 30, 2018 10:45 AM MDT
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  • AG

    261
    No. But I might assume they are new, because generally people who are popular in a group, have been around for a while and have gotten familiar with each other.
      June 30, 2018 4:15 AM MDT
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  • 137
    As you must know, Jesus (yes, THAT Jesus) found himself in this exact situation with the Jews. They saw him as a problem and had the Romans execute him in a horrible way.
    Of course it soon became clear Jesus wasn't the problem at all, and the Jews have continued to be the problem ever since.
      June 30, 2018 9:20 AM MDT
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  • 666
    That's an interesting take on the subject.
    Thanks for sharing.
    However saying that "Jews have continued to be the problem ever since" could be seen as anti semitic.
    I'm Canadian so I don't know a lot of Jewish people and I'm not overly religious.
    I don't have anything against anyone.

    Thanks.


      June 30, 2018 10:55 AM MDT
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  • 5835
    God Himself said Jerusalem would always be a thorn in the world's hide. Just pointing out that people have a problem with Jews is not "anti-semitic". 
      June 30, 2018 11:57 AM MDT
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  • 32656
    Exactly what chapter and verse says Jerusalem would always be a thorn in the world's side? 
      June 30, 2018 2:09 PM MDT
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  • 666
    Clueless dude wasn't quoting any chapter or verse to me.
    He didn't list anything and I'm not a religious person.
    It seemed like he was speaking his own opinion as far as I could tell.
    I didn't read the bible, but just saying that Jews have continued to be the problem ever since seems to be offensive.
    It's implies that Jewish people ARE a problem.
    It's 2018.
    I think it generalizes Jewish people and it paints them in a negative light.
    That's what Mel Gibson got in trouble for.
    If I were Jewish I'd be thinking that it's inappropriate to judge me.
    What the hell did I ever do to you?


    This post was edited by Summer at June 30, 2018 4:41 PM MDT
      June 30, 2018 3:01 PM MDT
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  • 2658
    I don't if that person is in a supervisory position. Many times it comes with the job.
      June 30, 2018 9:39 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    As someone who has never been really "popular" I can tell you that when I just went along and accepted whatever the group dynamic was there were no problems and I could sometimes express myself in ways that supported the group. But soon as I had my own ideas and expressed them I had to learn to go my own way. Oh yes often people, most especially other women, can become jealous and envious of you because you have something the want for themselves.  And their short-sightedness leads them to believe that somehow if you have something they think they can't have it.  Which is nonsense. If you have a life you enjoy and feel good about then you don't need to be part of any petty group. 
      July 1, 2018 7:04 AM MDT
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