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Discussion » Questions » Entertainment » How would you handle a social event you can't leave & the hostess demanding all the attention to her with you having to back her up?

How would you handle a social event you can't leave & the hostess demanding all the attention to her with you having to back her up?

Posted - September 4, 2018

Responses


  • 2642
    The hostess will just have to kick me out of the party because I'm not going to back her up.
      September 4, 2018 6:08 PM MDT
    3

  • 7307
    Good Answer!!!  I wish I had thought of that. :) :)  Awkward any way you think of it. Thanks Livvie. :) :)
      September 5, 2018 12:26 PM MDT
    0

  • 3846
    I have not encountered a social event I could not leave. I am far too cynical to prop up an attention whore.  This post was edited by Don Barzini at September 5, 2018 12:26 PM MDT
      September 4, 2018 6:12 PM MDT
    4

  • 2474
    "Attention whore" is a new term to me.

    If whore means prostitute it makes no sense. There's no trade.
    The attention seeker sucks the bored, unwilling and polite attention of others but gives nothing in return.

    If the word "whore" is used in the sense of "slut" - does it mean the attention seeker is indiscriminate in who they monologue at or perform for?
      September 4, 2018 6:50 PM MDT
    1

  • 1522
    I take it you’re not from America. Here is a link to describe what it means:

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=attention%20whore

    This post was edited by Rizz at September 5, 2018 12:49 PM MDT
      September 4, 2018 6:53 PM MDT
    2

  • 2474
    I looked it up.
    "Someone who will do anything to get attention". Wow! What a strong image!

    Thanks for the education, and the intro to the urban dictionary - very useful.
      September 5, 2018 12:59 AM MDT
    3

  • 1522
    You are quite welcome.
      September 5, 2018 3:01 AM MDT
    1

  • 7307
    But you ARE ALWAYS right!  At least you have me convinced.  Big Smiles!
      September 5, 2018 12:27 PM MDT
    1

  • 3846
    I appreciate your praise, Merlin. I try to give thoughtful answers. 
    I’m sure my wife would disagree with your assessment, though. 
      September 5, 2018 2:16 PM MDT
    0

  • 1522
    I’m not a fan of social gatherings unless I know and like the majority of the people there. I never have a problem leaving. I leave when I’m ready. It’s not my job to, nor my desire to support attention whores. They’re on their own. This post was edited by Rizz at September 5, 2018 12:27 PM MDT
      September 4, 2018 6:25 PM MDT
    4

  • 7307
    I am cracking up because I just love the fact you said "attention whores."  It's funny because she is one.  I feed into it because I am who I am. A trait I need to stop.  Love ya Rizz! :) :)
      September 5, 2018 12:30 PM MDT
    1

  • 1522
    Love ya too, Merlin. Part of me being brutally honest is I don’t reenforce negative traits in people. I call them out on them. I have no time or patience for attention whores.  
      September 5, 2018 2:20 PM MDT
    0

  • 2474

    The only time it happened to me was 30 years ago.

    I was too passive, and simply did everything asked of me.
    My role was to prepare the chai, the elaborate feast, set the funeral pyre, buy and arrange the flowers, and set up the sound system and electrics.
    It turned out to be the stage for Kunti to perform a series of her songs in which she was the centre of attention for everyone for about an hour before the satsang, ceremonies and finally the lighting of the pyre. 
    Afterwards, I cleaned up while she monologued at the guests.

    At that time, I was not yet wise to her game.

    These days, if someone acts like an attention hog, after 6 minutes I find a polite excuse to leave, and thereafter avoid that person.




    This post was edited by bookworm at September 5, 2018 12:33 PM MDT
      September 4, 2018 7:23 PM MDT
    3

  • 7307
    I volunteer some time (which is rare but someTIMEs there is some) and we have threatened to get a 3-minute egg timer.  If you want to monopolize my time, you have 3 minutes.  Make your words count!  I love it Nom de Plume! Thanks :) :)
      September 5, 2018 12:36 PM MDT
    1

  • 3068
    Can't leave?  No such thing with me.  I will never help an egotist and I would leave!
      September 4, 2018 10:10 PM MDT
    3

  • 7307
    Unfortunately, my car was stuck at Ralphs.  I was at her mercy until I remembered I could have Don come pick me up, which he did, happily.  He also fixed my car.  I won't even tell you why it got stuck at Ralphs.  It is way too embarrassing.  Thanks Shuhak. :) :)
      September 5, 2018 12:38 PM MDT
    1

  • 3068
    I would start walking.  Even if it were out in the middle of nowhere.
      September 5, 2018 12:39 PM MDT
    1

  • 7307
    :) :), always! 
    If only I could surround myself with my friends here, we would have a grand party.  I would be so Happy! Happy!
      September 5, 2018 12:47 PM MDT
    1

  • 11565
    There is no way I would be caught in such a situation.
      September 4, 2018 11:01 PM MDT
    2

  • 7307
    A victim of my demise.  She offers us something we both like at such a cost we can't help but kiss her a$$ sometimes.  I know I have the power to stop it but we chose not to.  It is my own fault.  If only I would make the decision to quit the habit, I would, in turn, not be in her power.  :) :)
      September 5, 2018 12:40 PM MDT
    1

  • 5740
    Not sure what social nicety or article of etiquette would oblige me to back her up.  I would simply stay out of her way.  Some people are always after attention but that can take a number of forms and they would not necessarily have to plan an event to achieve that but they get attention at any event.  I am more the kind of person who helps with the cooking and setting up and sometimes the service but I see no reason to try and assert myself. 
      September 5, 2018 4:57 AM MDT
    1

  • 7307
    I do the same!  Even as a guest, I bring wine and flowers and Always offer (and end up doing) the dishes, the over-all cleaning, and helping by starting conversations and people who have difficulty in social events.  
    It's hard when the hostess doesn't do any of these things to have a party run smoothly.  I just don't want her to look as bad as she does or is sometimes.  Ugh!
      September 5, 2018 12:44 PM MDT
    1

  • 10022
    For the most part, I've reached the age where I no longer feel compelled to attend events I don't want to attend and I don't do drama, so I would either not be at that event in the first place or have no compunction about leaving should the hostess embark on a dramatic endeavor.
      September 5, 2018 9:17 AM MDT
    2

  • 7307
    Drama it is.  Don is the same way.  I feel I have to protect her from her wicked self sometimes.  It is my own doing.  Maybe if I stopped protecting her, she would realize she isn't "all that."  Thanks SpunkySenior. :) :)
      September 5, 2018 12:45 PM MDT
    1