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Element 99

What are you afraid of?

Posted - September 19, 2018
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Responses


  • 8214

    Of ever getting Parkinsons. I'm doing everything i can to keep that fear from gripping my soul until I find out for sure.  "What I feared most came upon me" kind of an avoidance. 
    My handwriting USED to be exceptional, people always commented on it. Then one day while at work i was forced to address a couple of envelopes which there was a limited number of.  the printer was not capable of printing envelopes.  The way those went out were terrible.  Now every time I write something I am reminded of "IT"
    (Parkinson's) and fear tries to     overtake me.  I can't go there. Sometimes I can't write at all, I just never know when that will happen.  (this condition has gotten much worse quickly) I'm doing my best to deal with a situation until I get a final diagnosis. I am dealing with it the best way I know how right now. I don't want to think about it because if I do fear (the kind that causes physical changes) may get a foothold.  I don't want that.  
    No one can go through this for me, I have to deal with it in a way that works for me. I wish people would stop pushing me. 

    This post was edited by Art Lover at September 21, 2018 5:52 AM MDT
      September 20, 2018 3:51 AM MDT
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  • 16763
    Loneliness. I'm eremophobic.
      September 20, 2018 5:10 AM MDT
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  • 17592
    I always feared outliving one of my children.  I lost one of them.  I would not say that I survived it.  A new version of me wakes each day and does that which is necessary.  
      September 20, 2018 10:14 AM MDT
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  • 44602
    My sincere condolences. I also fear that.
      September 20, 2018 10:17 AM MDT
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  • 17592
    I suppose most parents do.  And I find that many more experience it than I had previously perceived.  But think about it, everyone who dies may have living parents.  It is just the most unnatural thing to experience.  It turns the world upside down.  

    Thanks.  It was eight years ago but feels very fresh still.
      September 20, 2018 8:54 PM MDT
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  • 16763
    Sorry for your loss. Our twins were stillborn, I never got to know them. Losing a child who you'd raised must be much worse.
      September 20, 2018 8:05 PM MDT
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  • 17592
    Thank you.  Experiences of loss need not be rated.  We have both experienced a great loss which is deeply personal.
      September 20, 2018 8:55 PM MDT
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  • 53503

      My heart goes out to you, Thrifty. I did not know you have that experience. I don't even know the right words other than I'm sorry you've suffered losing your beloved child. 
      ~
      September 20, 2018 9:28 PM MDT
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  • 53503

      Slart, old mate, I'm sorry you and your wife lost your two angels. 

    :(
      September 20, 2018 11:04 PM MDT
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  • 16763
    Marianne and Katharine, I can picture them in my mind as they'd be now, almost 28 years old. My living daughter is certain who her guardian angel is - her little sister Katie elbowed the original one aside and took over.
      September 21, 2018 12:24 AM MDT
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  • 53503

      I fear the death of my wife or our children.
      Being a military man married to a woman from a foreign country, my immediate family is extremely small; just she and I and our children, who grew up without any extended family around them, no cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, no one else besides their parents.  We moved from one military base to another, no more than a few short years in each location.
      I left military service before our children were teenagers, so their lives became more stable than previously, but to this day they've never had connectivity to extended family members. 
      My wife doesn't get to see her mother and siblings back home very often, and her father passed away just a few short years after I brought her here to the US. Losing him hurt her very deeply, made especially worse because of what she shared with me after he was gone. Their last face-to-face conversation before she came to the States ended with both of them in tears and my father-in-law predicting sadly that he feared he would never see her again. She told him that nothing would keep her from returning to see him, she practically promised him. Now that her mother is her only living parent, I feel much more of an obligation to keep my wife safe than ever before.
      With all the senseless and utterly random, sudden violence that befalls even the most innocent among us, I worry that something bad will happen to my wife or our children. 

    :(
    This post was edited by Randy D at September 21, 2018 12:35 AM MDT
      September 20, 2018 9:48 PM MDT
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  • 44602
    And we all sincerely hope nothing bad will occur to them...or you, brother. This post was edited by Element 99 at September 21, 2018 7:16 AM MDT
      September 20, 2018 9:59 PM MDT
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  • 53503

      Thank you. I'd much rather go in their places. I'd feel too much guilt the other way around. 
    ~
      September 20, 2018 11:06 PM MDT
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  • 17592
    Such a good husband and father; I know that.  I have felt that unbridled protective sense that I call the Mother Thing.  (Susan Sarandon coined the term in her great movie Rite of Passage) 
      September 20, 2018 10:02 PM MDT
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  • 16763
    Robert A Heinlein coined the term in Have Space Suit - Will Travel when Sarandon was still in diapers.
      September 20, 2018 10:25 PM MDT
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  • 17592
    Thanks for the correction.  I've never heard of that person or whatever Have Space ...... is.  
      September 21, 2018 9:13 AM MDT
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  • 16763
    Sf writer, active from the 1930s until his death in 1988. He turned to writing after being invalidated from the US Navy in 1934 due to tuberculosis.
      September 21, 2018 4:15 PM MDT
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  • 411
    The judgement day. This post was edited by Oscar Wao at September 21, 2018 9:40 AM MDT
      September 21, 2018 3:13 AM MDT
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  • 44602
    Why? How will you be judged? I do not fear that day.
      September 21, 2018 7:18 AM MDT
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  • 17592
    Nor do I
      September 21, 2018 9:13 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    First of being killed.  I see so many of these reality shows on TV where when men get finished with what they want from a woman they just dispose of her by murdering her.  Secondly having what we have worked for and been able to enjoy taken away by the government to fund some of these liberal social experiments.  Which has already happened to some extent. 
      September 21, 2018 5:27 AM MDT
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