Discussion » Questions » Random Knowledge » Can one negative comment aimed at you erase one hundred positive comments?

Can one negative comment aimed at you erase one hundred positive comments?

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Posted - September 23, 2018

Responses


  • 7280
    I have never been that dependent on the opinion of others.
      September 23, 2018 3:25 PM MDT
    6

  • 44660
    Not even your wife?
      September 23, 2018 3:30 PM MDT
    2

  • 7280
    Surprisingly, no.

    Requests for change in our marriage are not taken personally---we respect each other.  
      September 23, 2018 3:45 PM MDT
    3

  • 4624
    I like this way of being.

    I also really like Merlin's view.

    It seems to me that both have merit.
      September 23, 2018 6:45 PM MDT
    2

  • 10026
    Sorry for the delay.  Thank you Nom de Plume. :) :)
      September 24, 2018 1:30 AM MDT
    0

  • 22891
    it nnight
      September 23, 2018 3:29 PM MDT
    1

  • 4624
    Nope.
    It would give me food for thought, but it could never erase a sincere compliment, let alone a hundred of them.

    Many people get defensive or upset about a criticism. 
    It tends to jolt or upset the ego.
    But most people will eventually at least consider it to some degree.

    Complete inability to handle criticism is one of the criteria for a narcissist.

    An easier way to deal with a problem can be to point out how a specific action or habit is affecting oneself or others;
    i.e. focus on the action rather than the person.

    Borderline personalities will be difficult no matter what one says or does,
    so then one has to use the broken record technique:
    use one very simple statement that states your reality,
    and repeat it verbatim until they tire of hearing it and get the message.



    This post was edited by inky at September 23, 2018 6:48 PM MDT
      September 23, 2018 3:49 PM MDT
    4

  • 5391
    No.
    People are entitled to their opinions, it’s not incumbent on me to
    place any particular value on them. 
      September 23, 2018 4:41 PM MDT
    5

  • 10026
    There are many variables to honestly answer this question.
    It depends on who gave the negative comment.  If it was someone I admired and respected, it would have a huge impact on me.  If it was a friend who I play with and have mutual respect with, it would have a huge impact on me.  If a family member gave me a negative comment, I would be thoroughly worried. 
    If any or all of these people were to feel negatively toward me, I would immediately reevaluate what my actions and try to find where/what I did  to make them unhappy with me.
    As far a taking away all the positives, I would have to know the circumstances to decide if my disheartening actions were so bad, it had the power to erase all the good. 
    There are too many situations that would cause me to sway yes or no on my answer.
    All in all, if I hurt someone's feelings or was way out of line they felt the need to write or tell me and put in judgement of others, I know I would take a look at what I had done to make this person unhappy with me.
    I am not out to make others unhappy or be unpleasant to anyone, at anytime, period.  I would be unhappy with myself if I had. This post was edited by Merlin at September 23, 2018 8:57 PM MDT
      September 23, 2018 5:21 PM MDT
    5

  • 4624
    I really like this approach.

     I also appreciate the view of Tom Jackson. This post was edited by inky at September 23, 2018 6:54 PM MDT
      September 23, 2018 6:42 PM MDT
    1

  • 1502
    If one allows negative comments to have that much impact on them. For the most part I haven’t let negative comments or constructive criticism bother me. Like Don stated people have the right to their opinions. Not everyone is going to like me. 
      September 23, 2018 5:30 PM MDT
    3

  • 44660
    As I told my wife...Constructive criticism is criticism. 
      September 23, 2018 5:43 PM MDT
    1

  • 1502
    I‘ve always felt if I made a mistake I’m worthy of criticism. 
      September 23, 2018 5:45 PM MDT
    2

  • 4624
    Has there been a recent issue around compliments and criticisms in your home, Element?
    Are one or both of you hurting?
      September 23, 2018 7:13 PM MDT
    0

  • 14795
    In certain circumstances,yes.....There is nothing more powerful than words......most all wars are started and ended with the use of them.....:)D 
      September 23, 2018 5:47 PM MDT
    2

  • 8214
    I don't think so, at least I hope not.  
      September 23, 2018 7:14 PM MDT
    0

  • 2658
    Your opinion of me is none of my business - When the opinions of others do not matter you have truly mastered yourself. 

    Never judge someone by the opinion of others.


      September 23, 2018 9:20 PM MDT
    2

  • 17620
    Most likely I have already erased most of your other comments, so it doesn't matter.  Not too much is important enough to make it to long-term memory these days.  
      September 23, 2018 9:49 PM MDT
    0
  • D&D

    682
    Yeah, good people tend to have this problem. They do a million nice things and the one time they were mean, people remember that.
      September 23, 2018 9:56 PM MDT
    0

  • 7795
    Not for me. I've learned to say, "SCREW YOU GUYS!!!" This post was edited by Zack at September 24, 2018 7:05 AM MDT
      September 23, 2018 9:58 PM MDT
    1

  • 19937
    I doubt it.  I've lived my life trying to do no harm.  I have a fairly decent idea of what's right and what's wrong.  I cannot please everyone, nor would I even try.  I admit to my weaknesses and faults, but this is who I am.  
      September 24, 2018 7:08 AM MDT
    2

  • 6098
    No.  It stands on its own. 
      September 24, 2018 9:53 AM MDT
    0