Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Would you find it confusing if a woman filed overlapping restraining orders against you yet secretly pined that you'd stop by her place to

Would you find it confusing if a woman filed overlapping restraining orders against you yet secretly pined that you'd stop by her place to

spend the night with her?  Mixed messages, grrrrrrrrr. 

~

Posted - October 21, 2018

Responses


  • 4624

    Confusing?
    I wouldn't believe it.
    If she secretly pines, how does anyone but her know about it?

    I would trust the restraining orders no matter what you imagine she pines for.

    Years ago, a man I was living with knocked me unconscious. He was away when I regained consciousness. I went to the police. They photographed my bruises, wrote down my witness statement, helped me get a restraining order, and sent me to a doctor for checkups and ex-rays.
    Then I collected a huge number of cardboard boxes, carefully packed all his belongings, loaded my van, drove them to his week-ender (three hours away0, schlepped the boxes up the hill and left them on his verandah porch (knowing he would not be there at the time.)

    I then had my locks changed.

    He attempted to contact me numerous times until I took the phone off the hook and paid a solicitor to write him a warning.
    After that, he stopped.
    I would never have considered a restraining order unless I was serious about the relationship being over.
    I will not tolerate violence or abuse of any kind.
    My anger at his treatment of me was so great that there was no way I would ever want to see him again.
    I did have to see him in court and, even at a distance, it set my heart thumping with fear.

    Some young, immature and confused women who are in some way addicted to "love" and/or sex might send confusing messages to their ex's. If they do, it is not sane or functional behaviour. For a woman to continue to lust for a man after he has abused her is a sign that she has grown up in a situation in which her mother was chronically abused, and possibly the children were too. That is the source of irrational responses to domination, cruelty and violence. Such women need counselling to help them learn that real love is nurturing; sane love does not and cannot willfully cause harm to the belovéd.

    This post was edited by inky at October 22, 2018 7:11 PM MDT
      October 21, 2018 9:40 PM MDT
    2

  • 53509

      Er, um, my post is merely in jest. 
      October 22, 2018 5:45 AM MDT
    1

  • 11006
    Unfortunately there is no restraining order I can file to keep you from having fantasies about someone pining for you. 
      October 22, 2018 5:58 AM MDT
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  • 53509

      Wow, you want me very badly, don't you?  Aren't you even a little ashamed of throwing yourself at me like this?  Quit being so clingy, and have a little self-control, PLEASE!

    ~
      October 22, 2018 6:28 AM MDT
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  • 22891
    probably
      October 22, 2018 10:42 AM MDT
    0

  • 10026
    The real question:
    Is she pinning posters of you on her wall, secretly?  This way she can have restraining orders on you but secretly "have" you whenever she wants. 

    Aaahhhh HA!

    I know these things....
      October 22, 2018 3:18 PM MDT
    1