During my life, I've had some people harbor actual hatred for me (as opposed to merely holding a grudge against me) for years on end. Conversely, I can't put my finger on any grudge-holding that I do nor have done. That, of course, is most likely the human trait of seeing oneself in a better light than actually exists.
But on my father's side of the family, the grudge for having my great grandfather driven out and deprived of family land in Madras has lasted three generations. I am the fourth generation and am not even aware whom to bear a grudge against.
That's a coincidence. Distant relatives in my wife's family haggle over a plot of once-fertile farmland that's been in dispute ever since its original owner died decades ago, and the descendants can't agree on who should control it now. In the meantime, it just sits empty and unused, overgrown with wild bush, and not one harvestable plant has been cultivated on it, not one building has been erected on it, no one lives on it. With each subsequent marriage, new birth, coming of age to adulthood, the combatants increase in numbers. Luckily, my wife and her immediate family members are not part of the dispute. ~
Perhaps I still bear a grudge against my mother who is no longer living. For bearing a grudge against me that I did not fulfill her dreams for me. That would be about 46, 47 years now.
I no longer hold grudges. I have learned that doing so doesn't hurt them at all, it only hurts me. I spent my entire childhood until about 18 years old despising my dad. My brother, too was physically abusive to me, and only recently I have chosen to forgive him. It's been a long road, but truly, holding on to hurt, anger, and contempt does nothing for the other person, it only hurts us by keeping us in that mindset, and who "wants" to wallow in hate and contempt? Although many people choose to. And, it IS a choice. Very unfortunate.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at October 26, 2018 2:55 AM MDT
I don't know of anyone holding a grudge against me. I don't actively hold a grudge but I have a great memory. Past dealings will always play a part in current dealings. To be otherwise would be moronic.
Randy D 