Discussion»Questions»Life and Society» Have you ever felt badly betrayed by someone you trusted, only to realise later that the "betrayal" was your own misperception?
I don't wait around, with bated breath, for the chance to feel "betrayed". Because I am not the center of the universe and I know everyone is going to have his or her agenda. So what would it benefit me to take their actions that personally?
Have been situations where friends have felt betrayed by me when in fact that was the farthest thing from my mind. But in hindsight I can understand why they felt the way they did. I am very willing to apologize for anything I have done that has hurt anyone. But I have come to realize that for many people feeling "betrayed" is more important to them than my friendship.
I guess I thought the rest of my answer made this clear. If we feel "betrayed" then perhaps we are taking ourselves a little too seriously as well as our importance to others. I could have answered just "no" and let it go but open myself to criticism of brusqueness and lack of creativity and friendliness. So I elaborated which no doubt will open me to other charges. Oh well.
Perhaps in a roundabout way, yes. On the one hand, feelings of betrayal only come about because we put our faith in someone else and believed they would do something. We may do so because they've told us they will or won't do something or because we simply expect certain behaviors to continue the way they always have. My inner pessimist no longer trusts anyone, purely because every single last person I have ever trusted with anything has betrayed me- under both circumstances; unspoken expectations and promises made. Ergo, my inner pessimist says if I ever feel betrayed again, it's my own dang fault for trusting when I know good and well trust is misplaced and I should expect the worst, take things one day at a time, and rely only on myself.
The rose-colored-glasses-wearing Just Asking is still in there somewhere though, and still sometimes dreams of having someone reliable and trustworthy around. Surely, trustworthy people exist. Surely, there are people who do what they say they will. Surely, there are people who will behave in a consistent mindful manner.
... Actually, I can think of one person who fits this description now. Rose-colored glasses (somewhat) restored. Thank you.
Gee Neely, those are some nice... what was the question? Oh yeah. Well I've been betrayed by it remains to be seen if it was just a misperception on my part.
officegirl 