Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Do you think some persons just don't have it in their DNA to commit themselves to a lifelong relationship with one person?
Benedict Arnold

Do you think some persons just don't have it in their DNA to commit themselves to a lifelong relationship with one person?

They always seem to be in perpetual search of the right person, but never seem to find them. I wonder why. 

Posted - November 21, 2018
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Responses


  • 46117
    Hard to say.  

    I think we have baggage from former lives that we bring to the planet when we are born each time.

    So, you may be onto something.  The DNA certainly can create a type of Karma, meaning obstacles to overcome that you have not addressed last time around.

    So, they may have issues that just make them have the fight or flight syndrome askew, and every time things get too complicated, they choose to run rather than work it out.

    Just a thought.
      November 21, 2018 3:05 PM MST
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  • And you've got me thinking seriously too. Thanks. 
      November 21, 2018 3:49 PM MST
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  • 6023
    Nope.
    I highly doubt it's DNA.
    More likely, it is because they limit themselves.

    For example:  I know a gal who constantly complains she can't find anyone.
    But she limits her search to men she graduated with ... who don't smoke / drink / do drugs ... and have never been married ... and have the same politics / religious beliefs as her.  
    The only single guys who fit that, haven't been married for the reason they are jackasses.


      November 21, 2018 3:12 PM MST
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  • I don't see any wrong in narrowing down our preferences, don't we all do it? I surely wouldn't want to be hasty and end up in an incompatible situation to extricate myself from which would entail a lot of hassles and some social stigma as well. No thank you. 
      November 21, 2018 3:57 PM MST
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  • 6023
    Sure, we all have preferences.
    But some people take it to the point that nobody will meet those expectations.
      November 22, 2018 5:17 PM MST
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  • I guess so. 
      November 22, 2018 6:01 PM MST
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  • 7939
    Yes and no. 

    I still have serious reservations about whether humans were intended to be monogamous creatures at all, let alone were created to form a single lifelong bond with one person. Which, I know, probably sounds weird coming from me, but the reality is that I've never once had a faithful partner and I genuinely wonder if people in general were not built for it. I mean, even when the relationship was fantastic, I've still had partners stray... for their own reasons. Reasons that had nothing to do with me or the relationship; purely about whatever was going on in their heads at the moment. 

    At the same time, I have met a few people who do have wonderful matches and are in happy long-term relationships. And, maybe that is legit. Or, maybe it looks great from the outside. I can look at both my sets of grandparents and they had happy relationships. On my dad's side though, my grandmother was my grandfather's second wife and the kids he had with her were his second family. On my mom's side, it's a whole lot more romantic. My grandmother was one who basically could have chosen from any number of suitors. My grandfather won out. He was a man of great character. They were an amazing and loving couple to the end. 

    But, I don't see that so much anymore. And, I certainly don't see it with my own relationships. I more or less recently decided much the same. I don't have a "forever." Maybe it's me. Maybe it's the partners I choose. Maybe society today simply isn't wired for long-term monogamy. Maybe people never were, but they made it work because the alternative was worse at the time. 
      November 21, 2018 3:13 PM MST
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  • I believe amongst animals and birds, too, there are several that pair for life; at the same time there are several which are born flirts. 
      November 22, 2018 6:04 PM MST
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  • 53485

      You rang?

    ~
      November 22, 2018 6:15 PM MST
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  • 2327
    Physical attraction, lust. If two people feel that with each other, they'll probably hook-up, regardless of whether they're in a marriage or not. 
      November 21, 2018 3:18 PM MST
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  • I guess you're right, there, 
      November 21, 2018 3:47 PM MST
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  • 22891
    nnaybe and inn one of thenn
      November 21, 2018 3:20 PM MST
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  • Looks like I am too, Pearl. 
      November 21, 2018 3:46 PM MST
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  • 14795
    It's a lot to with your parentage I think...If your parents and grandparents are still together,most likely their kids  will have the same principles....  
      November 21, 2018 3:24 PM MST
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  • 16732
    Thirty years and counting, so far. I can't imagine being with anyone else.
      November 21, 2018 3:39 PM MST
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  • How I wish I was in your league, Start! 
      November 21, 2018 3:43 PM MST
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  • 362
    i wouldn't say DNA more like character or heart and yes some don't have it at all.
      November 21, 2018 4:19 PM MST
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  • 34171
    I don't think it is a matter of DNA. It is about morals and character. And if a person realizes they are human and can fall. So they do not allow themselves to be in a position to fail. 

    I don't have male friends. My husband does not have female friends. 
      November 21, 2018 5:27 PM MST
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  • 46117
    Very nice answer. I am thinking though of those who suffer with disorders.  There are personality disorders that you cannot correct so easily.  If someone with Aspberger's syndrome is raised by uncaring parents, that individual doesn't stand much of a chance to grasp and develop a solid foundation that makes him feel comfortable around others in society.    It's hard to teach character to someone who has not been exposed to any proper role models especially in the formative years.


      November 21, 2018 5:38 PM MST
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  • 16732
    My best friend (after my wife) is female, I've known her longer than I've known my better half and she's more like a sister to me. Her husband is a good Joe and her kids are about as good as you can expect of teenagers. They come to stay for a week every year, my wife is friends with them too.
    We stay with them occasionally as well, but less often. We have pets, they don't.
    It is absolutely possible to have platonic friends of the opposite gender.
      November 21, 2018 6:39 PM MST
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  • 34171
    Yes, it is possible but most people cannot. In most cases it leads to jealousy and/or unreturned feelings on one side or the other. 
      November 21, 2018 6:44 PM MST
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  • 3523
    Here's my answer to an earlier question by Element:  "If you can't feel love, compassion or sympathy, you could be a psychopath.  In that case everyone else would look like means to an end, the end being your benefit.  I know one of those people."

    The person I was thinking of was my aunt.  She had six husbands, five divorces, and numerous affairs.  She was diagnosed as a psychopath.  Her twin sister, my mother, was definitely not a psychopath; in fact, I would say she was too sensitive.  That's about the best evidence I can think of to answer your question.  I have also read a bit about psychopathy and the consensus is that it is not hereditary.

    But you're asking yourself if people who don't stay in relationships for the long-term are really psychopathic.  Perhaps not necessarily but I would call it an indicator that they could be on the spectrum. This post was edited by CallMeIshmael at November 22, 2018 7:06 AM MST
      November 21, 2018 9:23 PM MST
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