Discussion»Questions»Relationships» Have you ever been surprised to discover a school or college friend, who used to be very flirtatious then, to now be in a gay relationship?
(Couldn't he or she have been gay and flirtatious toward members of his or her own gender back in the college days?)
Some people hide certain parts of their lives from others, and over time people also change. Theoretically, back in college the flirtatiousness may have been genuine, it may have been an act, and having recently come out as gay in the present could mean that the person was always gay and hid it or it could mean that the person was heterosexual before and is now gay.
I got the hint when catching up recently with a friend from my freshman dorm corridor, who after college married a girl who lived downstairs from us. He emailed that "I am fortunate to have an ex-wife who is a dear friend, as well as a loving husband."
There was only one that kind of surprised me because I was intimate with this person. Although after I found out, the light bulb went on and certain things started to make sense.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at November 26, 2018 11:17 AM MST
Not really. I mean when she told she is Bi but strongly prefers women. That indicates to me that she is gay because I always assumed Bi means both way equally but it never is. You are always gonna prefer one gender more to another.
Yeah. One of my first boyfriends. He had this huge exuberant personality. We were in the school's spirit club together and he flirted relentlessly with all the girls. He asked me to homecoming or whatever the first dance of the year was. It was my first dance. First guy to ask me out. I had just moved to Arizona and was attempting to get acclimated to city life from country life.
Midway through the dance, my date disappeared. I went around looking for him and, while I was doing that, a gang fight with weapons broke out- right there in the middle of the gymnasium while the dance was going on. It was crazy. Police came in wearing tactical gear with weapons drawn and ushered us out.
It wasn't until the next day at school that I learned my date had slipped away with my best friend and they were making out behind the bleachers or something while the melee was going on. Yeah. I don't remember all the details anymore, but I'm pretty sure I stopped talking to both of them from that point on and I wound up moving and leaving the school a few months later. He and I later wound up at the same high school and, eerily enough, we had the same friends. It wasn't weird by that point, but he was still a huge flirt. He hit on every girl.
I want to say it was maybe 10-15 years after high school that I reconnected with him on social media. By that point, he had been married and divorced and was out of the closet. I had some deep talks with him about what school had been like from his perspective. His father was a "man's man." My friend knew his father wouldn't have accepted him being gay, so he basically tried everything he could to not be gay; to the point he even married a woman to appease his father. When the marriage fell apart (the wife discovered he was gay), my friend came out of the closet. As predicted, his father wrote him off. Wouldn't have anything to do with him. And, I think the father died without ever making amends.
It was all very sad. The guy really was a bright spirit. Someone who could make anybody's day; who genuinely cared about making the people around him smile. His father's reaction to everything drove him to hide who he was and eventually drove him to attempt suicide. Hindsight, his flirtatious and cheating ways were him trying to fit into the box his father created for him; he just wanted to be loved and accepted by his father. When I reconnected with him after high school and learned he was gay and out of the closet, I was astounded, but at the same time, a lot of his behaviors and traits made sense after that. He still hadn't recovered emotionally from the ordeal. I'm kind of curious what he's up to now... O_o
Randy D 