I've discovered that a few of my partners were interested in men while I was dating them, but it wasn't because the partner disclosed the information. It was because I snooped. In a couple of situations, they were actively seeking encounters with men while they were with me. In one, I discovered he had been trying to hook up with men just prior to starting a relationship with me.
One more or less responded that he was bi and that he was just now beginning to accept it and that now that it was socially acceptable, he wanted to explore it. I wished him the best of luck with his adventures and ended the relationship. Another wholly denied that he had any interest in men. However, he had been raised in a very strict religious household and being gay was not allowed. I think that scarred him and I believe he was actually totally closeted; to the point he wouldn't even admit it to himself. He had relatives who were gay, and although he accepted them, he still said it was "gross." He swore up and down he was only interested in women, but I really couldn't believe it based on his behaviors. I ended it with him. There were lots of things wrong with the relationship, but doubts about his orientation as well as his ability to be faithful were certainly among the reasons why I ended it. With the last one, he also claimed to be totally straight and said he was just looking for a physical encounter, and stated that it was easier to get men to partake than women. I don't know if he was 100% honest. He could have been. He also could have been bi. Learning about him didn't break the relationship, purely because he hadn't been seeking encounters while with me and because I knew he was still attracted to women; more specifically, attracted to me.
*hugs* That's because you're straight. ;) But, for what it's worth, I cannot imagine choosing a woman over you either. Actually, I can't imagine choosing a woman at all. lol
A longtime friend of ours (I’ll call her Tami), a pediatric nurse whose daughter my wife taught in both kindergarten and fifth grade, had her husband “come out” to her shortly after the birth of their second child. (In retrospect, not as big a surprise as it seemed at first.) Tami was apoplectic. Humiliated. Not that she has ever had anything against gay men, but this was too close to home for a good Christian girl. Nine years of marriage. A new son. She felt the world had turned on it’s head. He was living separately within days. With a dude. Quick turnaround, huh?
Where we come into this is that Tami confided this to my wife and I right after his admission, looking for some sober advice, and a hug. How to explain this to her then eight-year-old daughter, who we love dearly; to her Bible-thumping Christian parents; and to their other friends. Hard to watch two friends go through this. Why did he wait so long?
Although their divorce wasn’t overly contentious, suffice it to say that “David” now treads carefully in their presence which, to the credit of all involved, he frequently shares. Tami has since re-wed to a terrific guy, a small business owner, who has become a trusted friend of ours.
This post was edited by Don Barzini at November 28, 2018 6:38 AM MST
Don’t give yourself airs, Randy, displeasure is more than those weightless comments deserve. You’re not up to the challenge, so just own it. In light of your nitpicking obsession, the expectation of courtesy is ironic.
This post was edited by Don Barzini at November 28, 2018 6:39 AM MST
I have no need to "give myself airs" nor am I attempting to, Don. If you thought you'd throw barbs and not receive a response, you were mistaken. It's ironic that you ask for discourse, yet when you get what you asked for, you pull the passive-aggressive whine and pity party routine. If you don't like the way I respond to you Don, stop encouraging responses from me.
To which of your posts do you refer when you reply, “...when you get what you asked for”? I haven’t located anything of the sort from you as yet, or, upon a brief review of your profile, really ever. Absent that, I suggest you follow your true calling, dude - tildes and sandwiches; let the adults converse amongst ourselves.
This post was edited by Don Barzini at November 28, 2018 5:52 PM MST
We have three walk in wardrobes in our home and I've caught my partner almost daily comming out of one ....mostly in the morning ,but in the evening to.....it's never really upset me and certainly no great reason to end our relationship I think...:(
Just Asking 