"I would, but there has been an outbreak of bizarre robberies in my neighborhood and, strangely enough, all the weirdo stole were some worthless tildes."
Excuse me, Sir, but there is no such thing as a "useless tilde"! How could you even say something like that in front of them? That's both thoughtless and cruel! Grrrrrrrrr.
If you were being honest you'd have to agree that it's best that they know the truth before (as the gentleman below me states) "They have just been sitting in a box in the back of a closet as I never really knew what to do with them."