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Everything a drunk person tries to do is weird, disgusting, annoying, sick and hard to watch.
I know I've done some weird stuff whilst while smoking weed...but I can't remember them. LOL
While smoking written the most amazing stories ... That never seem to quite make sense the next day ... Strange that ...
Well once a drunk buddy blurted out that he knows everybody laughs and talks about him behind his back and when we said no we don't he kept insisting we do and he was going to catch us at it someday. Then he said he was going to go to the washroom but instead he went and hid behind a house plant so he could spy on us and catch us talking about him behind his back. Funny part was it was a hanging plant so you could see him from the shoulders down. We gave him the nic name Fern after that. Cheers!
When I was a kid my best friend's father was an alcoholic. He got drunk every night. One night when I was spending the night over there he came into the bedroom, opened the closet door, and peed right into the closet. In that instant I knew I would have nothing to do with alcohol. And I pretty much haven't.
My best inventions come when I have a few tokes...can never remember them though.
I went clubbing with some friends and we saw a guy with the hood of his car up, standing on his bumper. When we walked by we saw that he was urinating on his engine. He was totally skunked. He fell off the bumper with his genitals hanging and passed out. We took his his car keys out of his pocket and put him in the back seat of his car. We gave the keys to the bar security. When we left, we saw the car with the door open and the guy was lying on the ground again, passed out cold. We left him there
The guy was walking along, one foot in the gutter and one on the curb, bawling his head off. I stopped him and asked why he was walking half in the gutter? He looked down as if he had not thought to look there and said "Oh, thank god! I thought I had a broken leg."
Picture a guy trying to crawl across a sidewalk and not making much progress. I said "Hey dude, whatcha doing?" He said "I'm gonna get a drink, if I can climb over thish fenshe."
So i walked into a bar and there is a horse at the end, only his butt showing. Nobody seemed to notice. I ordered a drink and asked the bartender about the horse displaying its posterior. The bartender just pointed to a sign:
you asked. lol
