I would stress the difference between noticing my absence and actually missing me.
The former may happen within a matter of days; I can’t say for sure the latter would happen at all.
This post was edited by Don Barzini at February 13, 2019 8:51 PM MST
I relate to people's avatar photo mostly.....it's instant recognition....with names you have to read them as well....you might not know ,but I'm a real lazy bitch when I want to be.....or not ,that is the question.....:( :)
It's horrible when some one keeps taking your tablets.... i wish my iPad would die.....it's been pretty hopeless from the begining really....my spell checker has various bugs and it's also ever so slow and unresponsive to...:(
"Notice"? Heck, half of you would probably be in on the job and cover it up, the other half of you would most likely turn a blind eye to my 'mysterious disappearance'.
Suspect #1: "Well, that's the end of grammar boy, and good riddance too, if you ask me. You dumped all those disgusting tildes in there with him, didn't you?"
Suspect #2: "Sure, as many as I could gather up. He had thousands of them scattered out in the open and hidden in every crook and cranny. I would have spent hours if I tried to get any more than I did"
Suspect #1: "The important thing is that you didn't leave any evidence behind that can be traced back to us."
Suspect #3: "Don't worry, we made it look like an accident, as if he had choked on a sandwich."
Suspect #2: "I've been saying since we first began planning this that burying his body is the best way to do it. He'll never be found way out here. Some of you wanted to dump him in front of the English Department at the local university."
Suspect #1: "What took me by surprise was the way the voting panned out. Who would have known that sniping with a high-powered rifle would get almost as many votes as the steam-roller idea?"
Suspect #3: "That's nothing compared to the poisoning or the cement shoes. On the other hand, smothering with a pillow in his sleep got the fewest votes."
Suspect #1: "All of the ones that involved the least pain were the least popular."
Suspect Number 5: "But you know what's even better than the variety of ideas on how to do it and the number of votes each idea got?"
[In unison] Suspects #1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7: "What?"
Suspect #5: "Why, the number of volunteers there were to do the deed! Look at how many of us were willing to 'pull the trigger', so to speak."
Suspect #3: "I really wanted in on that. He got me several times on 'affect' and 'effect.' I wanted to make him suffer."
Suspect #6: "It was the semicolon for me."
Suspect #7: "That's child's play. I wanted in because of 'then' and 'than'. Gosh, he was so nitpicky."
Suspect #4: "Personally, I hated the whole 'lowercase, uppercase' thing."
Suspect #8: "What did I miss, everyone?"
Suspect #1: Where have you been? We haven't seen you for hours."
Suspect #8: "I took his cell phone on a tour of the city just in case investigators follow its pings. I finally left in on an east-bound train that goes into three different states and makes several stops in well-populated areas. Someone might pick it up, go in an entirely different direction, throwing off the scent even more."
Suspect #2: "Wow, good thinking."
Suspect #5: "I keep telling you that all these precautions are just a waste of time, no one is going to go looking for this guy. There won't BE any search or rescue missions. Heck, we should be advertising what we've done so we can line up and receive our medals."
Suspect #6: "I'm not so sure about that. He may not have had many followers, but still . . . "
Suspect #3: "Say, what do we do if and when someone posts a question asking where he's been?"
Suspect #5: "Meh, like that will ever happen. No one will miss him. We can all be glad that he'll never annoy us again."
Suspect #2: "I'm not on here for English lessons, you know what I mean?"
Suspect #4: "I agree. Who ever asked to be corrected on their grammar anyway, right?"
Suspect #6: "You mean 'his or her' grammar, not 'their' grammar."
Suspect #9: "Why didn't you just feed him a Vegemite sandwich? Suicide!" Suspects #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8: "Implausible, anyone who knows him knows he'd NEVER eat that."
THANK you, my dear friend! That is so considerate of you, and to think that I didn't even know it until now. Excuse me, but I will need a few moments alone; I may shed a year. Sniff. (Now hurry up and get back to the part where we're always fighting each other. Grrrrr.)
I know I already told you this story. It is buried somewhere in your mind from a good year ago or longer. I tell you now because I use that story and my telling you about it, as proof that this small piece of history did occur.
So, it really did occur. You may even remember my telling you about it when we met up on here the first time after not contacting one another for that whole prior year. I have a long memory and most men do not. What can I say?
I will just make some Yorkshire Pudding and serve it to people at work. I made this about 40 years ago last time I made it. It is quite lovely. It's mostly eggs. And Roast beef juice. So, if you don't remember any of this, it is okay. We shall get over the whole episode.
I imagine maybe after 3 days someone might think to themselves "Hey where'd that one guy go?" and then at day 7 it'd be completely forgotten that said guy was ever here.
Well, now you are part and parcel of us. It does not take us long to absorb you. There are people I was very close to and I cannot even remember their names any longer. That is the internet web life, I guess.
I don't want the emotions to be deeply entangled. It's not worth it. I got close to someone on here and we used that friendship to help each other. It really worked. I still cannot believe that it did. He moved in with me and helped me out with rent. It worked out fine. I learned a lot and I hope I helped him out of a jam. We had zero in common but I like him and am glad we met. So that was a totally unexpected connection.
I continue to meet wonderful people on here and Answer Bag prior to here. Just Asking was from Answer Bag originally and I find her to be a hard-working, brilliant and loving person. And, ironically, she seems to be a woman who inspires loyalty and community among this diverse group of weirdos.
Benedict Arnold 