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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » I have a real question: I noticed someone else on this site asked about dating outside of their race...

I have a real question: I noticed someone else on this site asked about dating outside of their race...

I’ve also noticed on the net (not just here) that people seem to respond with ´we’re all human race.’  How are people supposed to refer to inter-racial dating now? Is there another word? Is it offensive now to call someone a different race and if so why? Okay, that’s 3 or 4 question but I honestly don’t understand. 

Posted - March 29, 2019

Responses


  • 44178
    Race sounds better than sub-species.
      March 29, 2019 8:02 AM MDT
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  • You’re so helpful... lol. 
      March 29, 2019 8:04 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    I never referred to it as either just as they never would say "hey white woman".  You just are together and you know you are black and white and sometimes you even talk about it but not much.  His question was something like would you date outside your race so I accepted that in order to make an answer. Because some people are curious about that what it is like and how it works.  So we can say well that is too personal and not talk about it which is OK or we can talk about it to answer the questions which is what this site is for.  For which we have to accept some distinctions. in order to answer such questions.  I think "race" exists because we can see it so why not use terms such as "black" and "white".  Some may prefer to get sociological about it but on a more basic level its just dating and sex and relationships. 
      March 29, 2019 8:24 AM MDT
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  • edited because I put in to much personal info, thanks for your reply :) This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 29, 2019 9:41 AM MDT
      March 29, 2019 8:29 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    I was not offended by what he asked but just thought the way he expressed it was different.  Some people believe that we should not mention anything about race or differences of differences at all.  That we should pretend they don't exist. Which to me is not very realistic.   Because sometimes our skin color can affect our attitudes and experiences. 
      March 29, 2019 8:36 AM MDT
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  • I dunno..., I don’t know if I have a right to have an opinion on this cos I’m just a basic white chick lol. But I think it’s dumb when people say ‘they don’t see colour’ What the hellz wrong with seeing colour? It doesn’t mean you see people as any less just because you see they have a different skin colour. It’s weird. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 29, 2019 5:23 PM MDT
      March 29, 2019 8:41 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Becomes loaded as it can carry a lot of baggage for people.  We are not supposed to think in terms of race but because of our experiences we well may and then we find ourselves both thinking about it and trying not to think about it which can put us in a bind of just what we should do and how we should express ourselves so as not to give any offense.  Some people are easier to understand and be with because of shared culture while other people are more different from me in ways other than just race and I don't know quite how to behave with them. Which has - sometimes I have done things I didn't want to do because I did not want them to feel I was rejecting them because of race.  When it had nothing to do with race but I was afraid they would think of it in  terms of race.  So you want to be yourself but you also want to be "fair and unbiased" which of course sometimes we are just not.  We can try not to see colour but I think we do anyway. 
      March 29, 2019 9:08 AM MDT
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  • That‘s Part of my question though, why is it wrong to see colour? That doesn’t make any sense to me. 
      March 29, 2019 9:22 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Because we don't want to discriminate based upon race if we can help it.  We don't want to be that kind of person. 
      March 29, 2019 9:25 AM MDT
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  • I’m not talking about descrimating based on race though. I’m not trying to sound all kumbaiah here  or however you spell it. But what’s wrong with noticing and appreciating our differences...how is it better to pretend we all look the same and have the same back grounds?
      March 29, 2019 9:28 AM MDT
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  • 7280
    And I agree, imagine how boring it would be if we all looked alike.

      March 29, 2019 9:52 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Haha you must mean kumbaya!  People a little older than me used to sing that in the 1960s. 

    Dear I think what is seen as wrong - and I'm not sure I agree with it - is that it is discriminating.  If we appreciate something in people of a particular race, even if it is a positive thing, then we are discriminating against other people of the same race or different races who don't have the same qualities that we see in a particular race.  So we are showing favoritism in both positive and negative ways.   Which of course goes on - really we can't avoid it - but  we want to be impartial and fair to all people as much as possible so we try to not tie anything to race because that is automatically placing some kin of value judgment on race.

    For instance formerly people used to name sports teams after Indians because they thought Indians were good fighters. Which was a tribute to them.  Now that same thing is viewed as discriminatory as well as "cultural appropriation" - people trying to appropriate aspects of a culture which is not theirs.  All of which are viewed as "racist". So gets crazy.

    I was seldom asked out or hit on by black men and some of them have told me it is because they prefer generally more full-figured girls.  This is what they have told me but I don't know how true that is.  Now just my even writing that is discriminating against I guess black men who like slimmer girls as well as typecasting black men in general which is considered wrong.  Whether actually true or not.  So we have to be careful when we say what and in what company because even if we are careful we can still end up offending someone. 
      March 29, 2019 9:53 AM MDT
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  • I see your point, I don’t mean to offend anyone with my question but I’m sure  I probably have:) thanks For your imput. 
      March 29, 2019 9:57 AM MDT
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  • 7280
    It's not wrong, but realistically, depending on your audience, you can quickly become unpopular.

    That can be a problem if you are walking down the street at 1:00 AM---less so if you are in an auditorium.
      March 29, 2019 9:51 AM MDT
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  • I get that, I was really only curious about how the other OP should or could have worded his question better. I was Genuinely curious, now I know:)
      March 29, 2019 9:54 AM MDT
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  • 7280
    And I never saw the OP's question.
      March 29, 2019 9:55 AM MDT
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  • 6023
    There is only 1 race, as far as I know ... homo sapiens.

    At one point, there were at least 2 races ... homo sapiens and homo neanderthalensis.
    There was enough interaction between them, that some people still carry Neanderthal DNA.

    Saying we have different races is either done in ignorance, or to perpetuate the myth that non-whites are subhuman.
    Skin pigmentation is an ethnic variance.

    - - 

    As far as dating ... I see no reason to use a specific term when the couple have different skin tones.
    We don't have terms for any other type of cross-ethnic dating.  EG: Christian + Hindu, or Norwegian + German
      March 29, 2019 8:47 AM MDT
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  • I didn’t say there has to be a specific term...but if it’s something that’s being discussed, which there’s nothing wrong with discussing, right? How should he or anyone have worded the topic better? That’s my question. 
      March 29, 2019 8:50 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Some people think it not proper or right to even discuss it. 
      March 29, 2019 9:10 AM MDT
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  • I guess so, but I only asked the question because I don’t understand What’s wrong with the phrase ‘race’. 
      March 29, 2019 9:21 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    I don't think it is wrong because race exists.  Even if we pretend it does not.  So the challenge (if that is what it should be called) becomes how we handle it and how we handle ourselves in regard to it. 
      March 29, 2019 9:28 AM MDT
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  • 46117
    Race does exist.  It has a ton of positives and very VERY little negatives.

    So, you are right-on.  We need to focus on how to accept our differences and not to compare qualities one race may have that another race does not.  All races are human and all races have the capability of being equal.  Equality and civil rights are what we are hoping to grant all humans.

    The rest is just a matter of taste preference.
      March 29, 2019 12:37 PM MDT
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  • 6023
    Wrong.
    The very act of discussing an inter-ethnic couple ... JUST because of their ethnic differences ... is bigotry.
    It says there is something "odd" about such a couple.
      March 29, 2019 9:57 AM MDT
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  • I disagree. Not saying I’m right or your wrong, but I disagree.
      March 29, 2019 9:59 AM MDT
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