I have a real question: I noticed someone else on this site asked about dating outside of their race...

You’re so helpful... lol. 

edited because I put in to much personal info, thanks for your reply :) This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 29, 2019 9:41 AM MDT

I was not offended by what he asked but just thought the way he expressed it was different.  Some people believe that we should not mention anything about race or differences of differences at all.  That we should pretend they don't exist. Which to me is not very realistic.   Because sometimes our skin color can affect our attitudes and experiences. 

I dunno..., I don’t know if I have a right to have an opinion on this cos I’m just a basic white chick lol. But I think it’s dumb when people say ‘they don’t see colour’ What the hellz wrong with seeing colour? It doesn’t mean you see people as any less just because you see they have a different skin colour. It’s weird. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 29, 2019 5:23 PM MDT

Becomes loaded as it can carry a lot of baggage for people.  We are not supposed to think in terms of race but because of our experiences we well may and then we find ourselves both thinking about it and trying not to think about it which can put us in a bind of just what we should do and how we should express ourselves so as not to give any offense.  Some people are easier to understand and be with because of shared culture while other people are more different from me in ways other than just race and I don't know quite how to behave with them. Which has - sometimes I have done things I didn't want to do because I did not want them to feel I was rejecting them because of race.  When it had nothing to do with race but I was afraid they would think of it in  terms of race.  So you want to be yourself but you also want to be "fair and unbiased" which of course sometimes we are just not.  We can try not to see colour but I think we do anyway. 

That‘s Part of my question though, why is it wrong to see colour? That doesn’t make any sense to me. 

Because we don't want to discriminate based upon race if we can help it.  We don't want to be that kind of person. 

I’m not talking about descrimating based on race though. I’m not trying to sound all kumbaiah here  or however you spell it. But what’s wrong with noticing and appreciating our differences...how is it better to pretend we all look the same and have the same back grounds?

And I agree, imagine how boring it would be if we all looked alike.

Haha you must mean kumbaya!  People a little older than me used to sing that in the 1960s. 

Dear I think what is seen as wrong - and I'm not sure I agree with it - is that it is discriminating.  If we appreciate something in people of a particular race, even if it is a positive thing, then we are discriminating against other people of the same race or different races who don't have the same qualities that we see in a particular race.  So we are showing favoritism in both positive and negative ways.   Which of course goes on - really we can't avoid it - but  we want to be impartial and fair to all people as much as possible so we try to not tie anything to race because that is automatically placing some kin of value judgment on race.

For instance formerly people used to name sports teams after Indians because they thought Indians were good fighters. Which was a tribute to them.  Now that same thing is viewed as discriminatory as well as "cultural appropriation" - people trying to appropriate aspects of a culture which is not theirs.  All of which are viewed as "racist". So gets crazy.

I was seldom asked out or hit on by black men and some of them have told me it is because they prefer generally more full-figured girls.  This is what they have told me but I don't know how true that is.  Now just my even writing that is discriminating against I guess black men who like slimmer girls as well as typecasting black men in general which is considered wrong.  Whether actually true or not.  So we have to be careful when we say what and in what company because even if we are careful we can still end up offending someone. 

I see your point, I don’t mean to offend anyone with my question but I’m sure  I probably have:) thanks For your imput. 

It's not wrong, but realistically, depending on your audience, you can quickly become unpopular.

That can be a problem if you are walking down the street at 1:00 AM---less so if you are in an auditorium.

I get that, I was really only curious about how the other OP should or could have worded his question better. I was Genuinely curious, now I know:)

And I never saw the OP's question.

I didn’t say there has to be a specific term...but if it’s something that’s being discussed, which there’s nothing wrong with discussing, right? How should he or anyone have worded the topic better? That’s my question. 

Some people think it not proper or right to even discuss it. 

I guess so, but I only asked the question because I don’t understand What’s wrong with the phrase ‘race’. 

I don't think it is wrong because race exists.  Even if we pretend it does not.  So the challenge (if that is what it should be called) becomes how we handle it and how we handle ourselves in regard to it. 

Race does exist.  It has a ton of positives and very VERY little negatives.

So, you are right-on.  We need to focus on how to accept our differences and not to compare qualities one race may have that another race does not.  All races are human and all races have the capability of being equal.  Equality and civil rights are what we are hoping to grant all humans.

The rest is just a matter of taste preference.

Wrong.
The very act of discussing an inter-ethnic couple ... JUST because of their ethnic differences ... is bigotry.
It says there is something "odd" about such a couple.

I disagree. Not saying I’m right or your wrong, but I disagree.