Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Have you ever had a friendship where you truly couldn't imagine they would ever say/do anything bad - and then they shocked you so badly?

Have you ever had a friendship where you truly couldn't imagine they would ever say/do anything bad - and then they shocked you so badly?

That the friendship would struggle to recover from that? What did you do?

Posted - May 26, 2019

Responses


  • 46117
    Those usually happened when I was growing up.  I had a 2nd boyfriend who really shocked me.  So bad.  With cheating and acting stupid.  I was not ready for that.  What did I do?  I stuck it out for awhile and then I couldn't and just broke it off.  There was a lot of tears and fighting and loving and making up but I got no time for that anymore.  I had no time for it when I left him, yet I managed to engage in the same activity AGAIN with the next one.  We never learn.  

    I learned a lot about human nature from former boyfriends.  There were not a lot of them, but it showed me a lot about me. What I was made of.  Not something I was proud of.  I am different now.  I don't give my power away to anyone any longer and I am better and stronger for it.

    I don't  get shocked about people so much any more either. When my own brother can turn into a hideous monster, I have seen it all.  I am not surprised either.  Scum smells and I have a great nose.


      May 26, 2019 9:27 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Looks like we do learn .... it just sometimes takes a few encounters. 
      May 26, 2019 9:59 AM MDT
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  • 11166

    Ya there was this guy that I knew for years and I always thought he was a decent guy. But then I connected with him on FB and after awhile I found out  he was friends with a lot of racist SOBs and he made a lot of racists slurs by using the word chug's which is like the N word but directed at the First Nation people. I un friended him and the next time I saw him in town I told him why. I kind of wanted to pull a Steve Martin on him and say - sir your talking to chug then beat the crap out of him but that would of been wrong plus there was a lot of witnesses. Cheers!

      May 26, 2019 9:58 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Interesting and amusing tale :) I had similar.. a friend on fb turned out to be homophobic and bigoted regarding this. I was so disgusted I told him to go.... erm play with himself... He wasn't pleased and unfriended ME.. He returned and we did work through it.. but it's hard to see him in the same light after that. 
      May 26, 2019 10:01 AM MDT
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  • 469
    Unfortunately, this happens to many people.  It can be friends or family that morph and turn on you. 

    I have a friend (had - not sure if I will forgive him ever) that was supposed to rent his basement to me for $400 a month BECAUSE we were such good friends and he wanted to help me out. 

    I had just sold my condo and the next day was closing.  That morning I received a "dear john" email saying that he had changed his mind.

    He claimed that his financial adviser told him he could get more money and that his girlfriend was jealous of me and didn't want me in his house.  (Not that she was even living there).  At the end of the email he said "I hope you find a place to live.  Places are really expenses these days."

    I was stunned and very hurt. A year later he emails me and asks me how I was doing.  I laid it on the line for him and asked him what the hellz his problem was.  I could not believe that his girlfriend was that jealous... 

    He then admitted that it was greed.  He thought he could get more money.  I asked him why he didn't just ask me for more money?
    Do you know, he never did rent his basement out after all, the dumba$$.  So much for making money on a renter.


      May 26, 2019 10:10 AM MDT
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