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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » I made a friend at work three years ago. He helps me with home improvements for a price. He recently borrowed $40 to join a club.

I made a friend at work three years ago. He helps me with home improvements for a price. He recently borrowed $40 to join a club.

Now he says I GAVE him the money but at the same time payed back $20.   I've been waiting months and that's all I got back.  I think I should "unfriend" him.  Don't you think that's justified.

Posted - June 29, 2019

Responses


  • 628
    Hello Ishmael
    In most circumstances, I do not loan friends money.
    First of all, they never ask, my friends are my contemporaries and we have worked a lifetime time insure we never have to borrow 40 bucks.
    Sure, there are times when a friend may not have a wallet on them and I may spot them a few bucks, but I know they are good for it and I won't have to ask for repayment.
    In your position I would just write of the 20 bucks and move on. I may council them in some money saving ideas but that's about it.
      June 29, 2019 7:55 PM MDT
    3

  • 3523
    Thanks designer.  My first word of advice will be, "Get a real job."
      June 29, 2019 8:09 PM MDT
    1

  • 13395
    Ask him to lend you  $20 for some worthy purpose then say he gave you the money. Keep the friendship but tell him you don't have money available to lend if he asks you again. 
      June 29, 2019 7:57 PM MDT
    4

  • 4631
    It might depend on whether there are other issues that have been bugging you for some time,
    and how much you value the friendship.
    You could decide to forgive that debt but never lend to him again.

    If it was my friend, I would accept that I might have failed to communicate clearly enough in the beginning.

    Lending money to people we know is notorious for ending in unpleasant pickles.
    People who need to borrow such small sums tend to be poor money managers.
    The fact that they have to ask can be the signal that the debt is a risk.
    There are often other issues involved like alcohol and poor memory.

    Or if you really want to lend, get the person to sign an IOU note which specifies when and how the money will be paid back.
    If the borrower complains that you're being overly officious and not trusting enough (warning bells) -
    you can say it's because you're on such a tight budget that you can't afford to lose a cent -
    and that it's not him you distrust but your own memory.
    If it was a significant sum, you'd later have the choice of taking it to a small claims court.

    For myself, I prefer to live by the old adage, "neither a lender nor a borrower be."




    This post was edited by inky at June 30, 2019 4:57 PM MDT
      June 29, 2019 8:52 PM MDT
    4

  • 3523
    Speak, oh wise one.  Actually this is the second offense.  I already forgave one double-deal.  Cheers, and thanks.
      June 29, 2019 9:04 PM MDT
    1

  • 4631
    Hmm. 
    Once can be a mistake,
    twice can be a coincidence - but I'd be wary,
    three times is a pattern or habit - for me, it's the clincher.

    On the other hand,
    once bitten, twice shy.

    It all depends on how one interprets the situation.

    Users treat kind people as mugs.




    This post was edited by inky at June 30, 2019 7:22 PM MDT
      June 29, 2019 9:31 PM MDT
    2

  • 10026

    My dad has an interesting view on this subject. 
    Don't lend any amount of money you cannot afford to loose.

    I have found money has one characteristic that is reliable.  It's not loyal.




      June 30, 2019 3:18 AM MDT
    4

  • 19942
    Write off the $20 and write off the "friend."  I found it's a bad idea to loan friends (and sometimes family) money.  If you loaned this person money before and he screwed you, a second loan should have been out of the question.
      June 30, 2019 6:32 AM MDT
    5