I will confess to a naughty habit back when I was young enough.
If I went to a wood yard, hardware store or similar, and needed advice,
I would look at a man just so
and play Helpless-Harriette to make him feel generous sharing his knowledge.
I learned an awful lot of practical tips that way.
What are some examples of things you might do now, or have done in the past?
I generally do not employ such obvious tactics of manipulation. My attempts at manipulation are MUCH more subtle, thankyouverymuch. :-)
Besides, flirtations of this type are almost exclusively in the purview of women. Women don't generally (!) find jobs in the trades or in businesses which cater to the trades, so a man trying this tactic would likely discover the inclusion of fists in his daily diet. It might work man to man if both vendor and customer were gay, but otherwise...:-)
I haven't, but women have often flirted with me to make it easier to get something they want. I've been wary of that since 2004.
I'm guessing gay guys would do this sort of thing a lot. Plenty of opportunities. But maybe they will speak for themselves.
Supposing a woman sells fruit and vegetables, or rare items in a delicatessen, is it not plausible that a man might flirt with her to extract new recipes or cooking methods for a particular ingredient?
I have heard of male hairdressers who flirt all day with their female clients and it seems to ensure that their customers will return - although probably the quality of the work on the hair has a lot to do with it.
Sorry that whatever it was had some kind of negative effects for you.
If it crossed the threshold into pretending to offer what wasn't available, that would be cruel.
The reason I became so wary of it in 2004 was because that year I met a woman who went as far as to lie to me about her birthday. I let her get away with lying about other things but once I found out she'd lied about that I refused to have any more to do with her. Fortunately I haven't met another one like her since then. Let's hope I never do.
LOL! :D
I never even imagined sitting on someone for ulterior purposes. I think that goes way beyond flirting - that goes into direct provocation - it lacks only the next step of "will you?"
Flirting, to my mind, is a lot milder - such as a certain kind of glance in the eye.
I don't know how it is down under, but here in the states it's still rather risky for a gay man to ply his wiles in such a way unless he was SURE the recipient of his attentions was gay.
In my experience men don't execute flirtatious behaviors or advances very well. They simply lack sufficient finesse. They nearly always come off as obvious at best or creepy at worst whereas women have nearly all (if not total) control over the evolution of a relationship--even casual/professional ones.
I can't speak for hairdressers although I'll readily concede that cosmetology and services like it are exceptions to the rule. A male hairdresser has to identify or relate more to/with the feminine if he has any hope of being a success in such a profession.
(Bear in mind that all these positions are 'driven' by provincial or cultural norms, and they will change over time as society changes. :-))
LOL :D
A lot of fellas might like it too, a lot.
(Though not from a 60-year-old wrinkle-bag like me.)
Maybe if I reach 100 I might get away with it.
Well put, Lucia. I agree.
Even back in the days when I did it, I felt that what I was doing was hypocritical, because I was also, am, a feminist.
Within feminism one of the strong campaigns is yes means yes and no means no - so the good feminist doesn't confuse the issue by giving misleading signals. Too bad if she doesn't know her own feelings.
On the other hand, when I flirted I never gave the impression that anything was potentially on offer - it was more like saying "you're quite cute" with my eyes. If I could wink I probably would have.
Gay is legal here. No one needs to be in doubt.
Before it became so, gays used signals, small items of clothing placed just so, mannerisms, slight accents of speech - easy to tone up or down at a moment's notice. They had no difficulty recognising each other.
I never thought of creepy behaviour as a form of flirting or attempted flirting. I saw it as more like the way trolls hassle people to deliberately provoke annoyance - taking delight in causing discomfort. I stayed away from places where such people congregated - bars I think - drunken behaviour.
Intriguing. I googled it and found this on Wiki:
"In The Hidden Persuaders, first published in 1957, Packard explores the use of consumer motivational research and other psychological techniques, including depth psychology and subliminal tactics, by advertisers to manipulate expectations and induce desire for products, particularly in the American postwar era. He identified eight "compelling needs" that advertisers promise products will fulfill. According to Packard these needs are so strong that people are compelled to buy products to satisfy them. The book also explores the manipulative techniques of promoting politicians to the electorate. The book questions the morality of using these techniques."
I had a brilliant English teacher once who used to lead the class through analysis of advertising images and blurb. A very effective vaccine.
Saw the list of his other titles and thought I should budget to buy most of them. Thanks. :)
You always flirt with me on here to get me to answer your ques....HEY! You got me again!
~
You're talking about gays again N.
No I want people to do something because they are kind. If I have to make them by manipulation it defeats the purpose and I end up feeling disgusted.
I used to, without realising. It took me years to be aware how I change in the company of the opposite sex (as a customer / client). Once I did know, I stopped doing it. I actually am that way to people I'm close too as well (sort of babyish/cute sometimes to my mom, friend etc). Even to girls I find cool too.
I had wanted men to think I'm hot and cute and yet want not be approached by creepy men or to be thought as a tease / easy.
Nowadays I think men get offended by how unaffected I am with them.
That is wisdom. :)
Thank you for your openness and honesty. I'm impressed.
Why, Mr Randy! How dare you be so naughty! ;)
A lot of wisdom in what you say. Thanks for one of the most original and honest responses to this question.
Quite a few people here have read the term flirtation to indicate serious intent - whereas I always thought of it as much milder than that and not serious at all.
You sound like a masterful flirt, full of subtlety, intuition and creativity.
Lucky the folks who chance to meet and banter with you. :)
Sounds as though you've got it well continued within reasonable boundaries :)
- no leading people into false hopes as some here have interpreted the question.
