What's wrong with me ?

Etiquette and respect expect that you refer to your brother's wife as she and treat her as a woman - always.

Most transgender people love to talk about their situation - with no inhibitions about the intimate details.
Most are far more open than the rest of the population. They have to be because the law requires that they must undergo several years of psychotherapy and participate in transgender self-help groups before they can begin the physical process.
They're accustomed to people's misunderstandings - usually regard it as important to educate others who are curious.

We live in a world in which the dominant cultures favour conventional male and female identities - but there is plenty of evidence that various differences in sexual physiology and identity have always existed. Medicine recognises 36 non-standard types. In some cultures with very small genetic pools, the variations are much more frequent and are culturally integrated as norms.

There is such a thing as brain gender, and it can be different from the gender of the body. A person born with such a condition feels it from a very early age. Now that it has become medically possible to change the outer body to conform with the mind's inner identity, people who make the change usually feel complete and satisfied. Gradually the relatives and close friends adapt. New acquaintance never knew the tranny is any other form and take it for granted. The transgender person is finally free to be truly themselves in a world that sees them as such. We are a social species - and so how others see us has an immense effect. 

Once one starts looking into LGBTQI people and issues, one discovers how complex, varied and interesting they are.
They have an enormous amount they can teach us about what it means to be male or female.
For instance, as a young man Michael Caldicott overflowed with talent and confidence. His hutzpah was so great that he painted a series of twenty vast abstract expressionist paintings. He approached Macquarie University and said, if you buy this set of paintings at $5,000 each now, in 20 years they'll be worth 20 times more - and they'll lift your prestige. They bought the paintings - and the prediction turned out true. Businesses, architects, galleries, museums and art patrons all bought his work. But in the meantime, Michael became Michelle. To this day, she still paints, but she has lost her initiative and no longer has the courage to apply for grants, residencies, competitions or commissions. She's happy she made the change - but was surprised when she first realised how much it reduced her muscle strength, confidence and libido. I've known several other male to female trannies who confirmed that this loss is normal, but for them, worth it to be so much happier.
It shows us "normals" something about the differences between what's innate and what's culturally conditioned in being male or female.

Gender identity does not determine gender orientation, meaning which gender is most attractive does not change with transition.
The person who was once a heterosexual man continues to prefer and love women after becoming a woman.
The person who was once a homosexual man continues to prefer and love men after becoming a woman.
And vice-versa for female to male transitions.
The bi's have it easiest - they can love either gender.

 

This post was edited by inky at July 26, 2019 3:44 PM MDT