Discussion » Questions » Emotions » Someome insults you to your face. Your reaction? My wife called me pathetic once. No forget...no forgive.

Someome insults you to your face. Your reaction? My wife called me pathetic once. No forget...no forgive.

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Posted - August 25, 2019

Responses


  • 13395
    I think I would just give 'em a nasty look and walk away or ignore it.
      August 25, 2019 9:16 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    I'd probably cry. Crying is my go-to reaction when someone yells at me, so I'm assuming I'd handle an insult in the same way. 


      August 25, 2019 9:19 PM MDT
    1

  • 46117
    God I WISH I could pull that off. I don't think you are trying to pull anything off, but I WOULD.

    I would make everyone feel horribly guilty for hurting me.  I wish I could cry like that.  But I AM SORRY you feel badly when YOU do.  I wouldn't. LOL 
      August 26, 2019 12:52 AM MDT
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  • 10052
    I really can't stand it. Makes me feel incredibly weak and childish, even though I know that it's not wrong to feel badly when you're yelled at by someone you care about and who is supposed to care for you. 

    It's a real rarity these days, getting yelled at, but it happened not long ago and I freaking cried. I've been annoyed with myself about it since it happened. 
      August 26, 2019 6:11 PM MDT
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  • 4624

    It's happened probably more than a few times in my life.

    Each time I pretended not to be affected -

    an old affectation 

    learned as my best defence while being bullied at school.

     

    For each, I've asked myself,

    Is it true? How did I earn it?

    Do I need to accept whatever it is, 

    or makes changes?

    If it was true, I usually forgave.

     

    But the ones that were untrue,

    that were delivered with spite, or sadism, envy or jealousy —

    each one has stuck and rankled. 

    For each, I've thought of umpteen witty retorts

    but only after the insulter was long gone.

      August 25, 2019 10:20 PM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    WOW. That is the exact opposite reaction I would have.  I would dismiss the erroneous.  I would probably have a very long time before I could admit a hurt was TRUE.  Even if it is true?  Why do you have to hurt me?  That is kind of hard to forgive.

    But the path of wisdom may be to smile, forgive and move on.  That is the way of detachment I so long for.
      August 26, 2019 1:47 AM MDT
    2

  • 4624
    I'd like to dismiss the erroneous.
    I think it would be the sensible thing to do.
    But somehow, it's the emotional intent behind the insult that bothers me more than the erroneous words themselves.
    I get it that people have the right to their own reactions, and not everyone can like everyone else, and some people loathe nerds -
    but I have difficulty with understanding why people could want to hurt others.
    I understand it in theory - but it still flummoxes me.

    It could be something deep and primitive - the awareness that humans are the most dangerous animals on the planet.
    If someone starts thinking like an enemy, there's some kind of potential for threat - vague, maybe not even real - but how can one know just how pathological some people are?
    I think this dis-ease in me goes way back to early childhood, when my father was sporadically violent towards my mother (about once a month) - sometimes nearly killed her. When anger and insults fly, that's a warning to me to get away fast. Even thinking about it brings a tension to my stomach.
      August 26, 2019 1:07 PM MDT
    1

  • 46117
    Like there is only one type of insult that one has the same reaction to?????

    WHATTTT???

    You know me. I will come up with something. I am good at improv.


    See the source image
     
    See the source image
     
     
    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 26, 2019 8:22 AM MDT
      August 25, 2019 11:12 PM MDT
    1

  • 7280
    I respond to attempted insults with either amusement or total disbelief, since I give no one the required permission to be able to insult me in the first place.
      August 25, 2019 11:45 PM MDT
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  • 16841
    Toss it back with spin on it. I'm usually good with a quick retort.
      August 26, 2019 1:11 AM MDT
    3

  • 8214
    Where she at?  No one talk to my baby boy like that.

      August 26, 2019 11:50 AM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    This is hilarious.  LOL 
      August 26, 2019 12:39 PM MDT
    1

  • 46117
    That is just plain SILLY.

    What are you holding on to THAT for?  SPITE?  Or the fact that SHE doesn't think it means what you think it means?  Let it GO.

    You are drowning in mental masturbation.   NO one is concerned about this pettiness but you.  How is that working for ya? 

    What has your unforgiveness earned you?  Are you making her PAY?  LOL  I think you are making YOU pay.  And how pathetic is THAT?

    You are far from pathetic so why take on that mantle?  It sounds like pitty-pot time.  
      August 26, 2019 12:31 PM MDT
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  • 44659
    If I told you why, which I'm not going to, you might not be so judgemental. This post was edited by Element 99 at August 26, 2019 1:16 PM MDT
      August 26, 2019 12:34 PM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    I thought I might get a middle finger for that one.

    Bah fangoul   as we say in Italy.  
      August 26, 2019 12:38 PM MDT
    1

  • 4624
    I understand.
    There's nothing pathetic about you.
    I know you face your trials with dignity, courage, patience and perseverance, Ele.

    But when She says something like that, she's demonstrating total disrespect and disgust,
    which is the death nell to a marriage.
    It's her issue, of course - not yours.
    No one deserves to be treated with disrespect.
    The attitude itself is a form of mental disease.

    After that, short of genuine repentance and reform, there's no option but separate beds and living like flatmates - or divorce.

    For some reason, you've chosen to stay together.
    Loads of older couples do that - sometimes just because it's the last advantage left -
    someone to take them to hospital in the event of a health crisis. My friends Karen and Russell are like that.
    Maybe there are still enough good things left in the relationship.
    Maybe in moments when she's not angry, she can actually be a pleasant companion and behave like a friend... ?
      August 26, 2019 1:26 PM MDT
    0