What are some of the drawbacks to having an EXTREMELY good-looking partner in crime?
(JA caused us to get caught numerous times; somehow, I always ended up with more charges, convictions and jail time than she ever did. Suspicious? You be the judge . . . )
What?!? I caused us to get caught? You turned on me every chance you got. There was that time in Mexico where you bribed the cops to arrest me. Then, the time in Italy where you told the mafia I was the reason their last job had eyes on it. Yeah, I still have to pay them a cut of each job I do and that was ten years ago. Oh, and don't even get me started on Singapore where you reported me for having chewing gum so you could get away with our stash. It took me three weeks to break out that time.
And how many times has batting my eyelashes gotten a file or key slipped into your cell? Or secured you a pardon? Or convinced the guard to look the other way?
Drawbacks schmawbacks. I don't even know why I still work with you. Hmpf!
In Mexico, I did not bribe anyone. I merely informed them that you were in distress and needed help; they were supposed to attend to you while I checked on our airline tickets for the departure to the US. It’s not my fault they detained you and you missed our flight. (By the way, an interesting and intriguing young señorita was quite sympathetic to my dilemma of an extra ticket going to waste, and accompanied me back to Houston. But that’s an entirely different story . . . )
Italy was just a fluke: it was the taxi dispatcher who dimed you out, not me. I would offer to help you pay off that debt, but I’d rather not get involved in a mafia beef. I’m sure you understand.
I saved your life in Singapore. They were looking for a woman who matched your description and had swallowed 20 cocaine-filled balloons before boarding a flight to Rangoon. By coming up with the chewing gum story, they focused on that and never searched you. Had they found out you were the mule, the punishment there is death by hanging. Where is the gratitude, that’s all I have to ask you.
As for batting your eyelashes, sure, it always works fine, but then I don’t see you for a month or two while you’re stackedshacked up in some vacation bungalow with the chief inspector, or sailing on the yacht belonging to the minister of finance, or that time in Finland when you and the ski instructor ran off with my share of the loot. Your job is to turn men’s heads the other way, but you take it too far and make them fall in love with you. Stick with the program already!
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This post was edited by Randy D at December 26, 2019 7:25 AM MST
Just Asking 