works? Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Six-year-old: “Uncle Randy D, do you want to see my umptifratsalator toy?“
Randy D: “Well, maybe a little later . . .”
Six-year-old: “Good, because here it is! I’ll show you where to turn it on, and how to increase the power, and where all the controls are, and where the batteries go, and the box it came in, and we can go outside so I can show you how it works, and in the commercial on TV there is this kid, I don’t know his name, well, he has one, but it’s the blue and red one but mine is green and orange, and do you know how to put in the batteries because I do and I can show you, and there are five whistle tones that I can let you hear each one but you have to close your eyes when I turn on the main light because we have to pretend it’s at night and I can only play with this before bedtime if I don’t have any homework that day, and if my brother wants to play with it I have to let him or he will cry because he’s only four years old and I’m six, do you know how many fingers are six because I have to use two hands to show you because there aren’t enough fingers on one hand for six fingers, and if we go outside I have to wear my jacket or my mother will yell at me for getting a free-bear I don’t know what it is but I had to take medicine last time, and I couldn’t play because I was in bed for two days, my brother has his own toys but he likes to play with mine and I never play with his because they’re baby toys, and can I show you all of mine?”
Randy D: “I have something to do right now, so . . . “
Four-year-old: “Uncle Wendy D . . . “
Randy D: “It‘s Randy. My name is Randy, not Wendy. Randy is a guy’s name and Wendy is a girl‘s name, I tell you that every time I come over here.”
Four-year-old: “Ok. Uncle Wendy D, I want to show you my new toy! Look, it flies!”
Randy D: “Wonderful. Listen, show it to your big brother and explain to him how it works . . . ”
Six-year-old: “But you can’t look at his toys yet because you haven’t seen mine! I was first!”
Four-year-old: “Uncle Wendy D . . . ”
Randy D: “It’s still Randy. Boy’s name, Randy, not a girl’s name, Wendy.”
Four-year-old: “Ok. Uncle Wandy D, I can jump from the table to here, want to see?”
Six-year-old: “It’s because he’s a baby.”
Four-year-old: “I’m not a baby! I’m this old!”
Six-year-old: “You’re holding up TWO fingers! You don’t even know how old four is!”
Eight-year-old: “Uncle Randy D, look at my new dolly! Hold her!”
Randy D: “Does she make sandwiches? Never mind, never mind. It’s ok, sweetie, I don’t want to hold your dolly.”
Six-year-old: “That’s because he‘s a guy, and he wants to see my toy!”
Four-year-old: “No, he wants to see mine!Here, Uncle Wooley D, you have to see mine!”
Eight-year-old: “Hold her, Uncle Randy D!”
Six-year-old: “Mine!”
Four-year-old: “Mine!”
Eight-year-old: “Mine!”
Four-year-old: “Let me show you my video game, Knuckle Rolly Three!”
Randy D: “That’s Randy D, I keep telling you that.”
Six-year-old: “Oh, I have a video game too, Uncle Randy D! Do you want to play it with me?”
Eight-year-old: “My dolly, Uncle Randy D, feed her, give her the bottle!”
Four-year-old: “Me first!”
Six-year-old: “No, me!”
Eight-year-old: “Uncle Randy D, come watch me ride my bicycle!”
Six-year-old: “I have a bike too, Uncle Randy D, come watch me ride mine!”
Four-year-old: “Uncle Wendy . . . ”
Randy D: “Randy, not Wendy.”
Eight-year-old: “You can make her pee!”
Six-year-old: “Ewwwww.”
Four-year-old: “ . . . want to see my dinosaurs?”
Eight-year-old: “Uncle Randy D, you can feed my dolly her bottle then come and . . . you’re not paying attention to me, Uncle Randy D, come watch me ride my scooter!"
~
Randy D 