Humorous answers, please: what are the top three reasons you do not hitchhike? ~

I have a car; several in fact.

I have a phone, so I can call a cab, an uber, or a limo.

So do all of my friends. 

Female drivers keep wanting to pick me up

The male drivers are often not attractive enough to me

When they are attractive to me, we wouldn't get anywhere other than the back seat

1. gas
2. grass
3. a**
Nobody rides for free.

1.  Why bother?  People never stop to pick me up just because I have bad coordination.   I can't help it that everytime I try to stick out my thumb, my middle finger pops up instead.

2.  I'm dyslexic.  No matter which side of the road I stand on, the traffic is always going in the opposite direction. 

3. Its downright dangerous!!  Everytime anyone ever stops (which is usually a musclebound biker), they walk back and beat the crap out of me.  (what have they got against uncoordinated dyslexics?)

I might develop arthritis in my thumb.

No-one who stops is going anywhere near Llanfair Clydogau - they are all going to Sutton St. Edmond.

The distance between the driver's and passenger's seats is less than two metres.

1. I'm blonde and all fingers and no thumbs..

2. I have more access to all sorts of vechiles than anyone....

3 . Do you really believe I'd jump in and car with just anyone....... I can't be seen in just any ole peice of iron one weeks..:( 

1. I can afford
2. to rent
3. a car

I don't want to end up screaming.
I don't want to feel pain.
I don't want to end up hearing them scream. This post was edited by CosmicWunderkind at April 16, 2020 5:03 PM MDT