Discussion » Questions » Death and Dying » I left my patio screen door open all evening and now my house is full of mosquitos. How much blood do you think I will lose tonight?
Jaimie

I left my patio screen door open all evening and now my house is full of mosquitos. How much blood do you think I will lose tonight?

Posted - June 24, 2020
Tag : #GuessImGonnaDie

Responses


  • 11102
    None if you still have that safty  drinking  bubble wrap - just wrap your self in it so they can't bite you. Cheers!
      June 24, 2020 9:31 PM MDT
    4

  • 44603
    But she won't be able to sleep from the constant popping sounds.
      June 25, 2020 8:08 AM MDT
    2

  • 53504

     

      Seems kind of sexy to me. Jes’ sayin’.

    ~

      June 25, 2020 8:28 AM MDT
    1

  • 7404
    I thik I should just wrap myself in bubble wrap everyday:) 
      June 26, 2020 5:31 AM MDT
    0

  • 53504

     

      (everyday every day)

      June 29, 2020 10:39 AM MDT
    0

  • 53504

     

      GET OUT!!!

      Don’t stay in that house tonight no matter what you do!  The smorgasbörd you’ll provide to those assassins isn’t worth the trouble!  Get as far away from there as . . . oh, wait, these are just Canadian mosquitoes. Never mind. 

    ~

      June 24, 2020 9:50 PM MDT
    5

  • 7404
    I could have been dead by now, you‘re no help. 
      June 26, 2020 5:32 AM MDT
    1

  • 53504

     

      *Now turning to international news. A man in California, USA is under investigation for plotting a devious scheme to train mosquitoes to target a particular person in a foreign country and infect her with some type of biological agent that he cooked up in his basement laboratory. Authorities armed with a search warrant raided his place and carted off hundreds of live mosquitoes, vials of potions, and video tapes on tiny screens specially fitted for insects with multiple eyes. The woman in question who was the victim lives in Canada and is engaged to be married to a supposed tree surgeon, who is himself suspected to be part of the plot. The fake tree surgeon apparently planted the brainwashed mosquitoes a week ago during a routine tree inspection. Our correspondents are on their way to Canada to interview the woman, as soon as they can charter a moose corral to arrange rides up to her igloo.  The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have offered the services of one Inspector Doright to lead the expedition.  
      “Meanwhile, in Panama . . . ”


    ~

      June 26, 2020 7:58 AM MDT
    1

  • 13395
    You wouldn't lose much if you cover your body with some kind of skin lotion. 
    You know, it's only the females that bite. 
      June 24, 2020 9:53 PM MDT
    3

  • 44603
    All females bite in their own way.
      June 25, 2020 9:51 AM MDT
    1

  • 7404
    No, I didn’t know that, interesting. 
      June 26, 2020 5:32 AM MDT
    1

  • 44603
    Coat yourself with beaver fat and drink a lot of alcohol. I haven't been bitten in years and we live near a creek.
      June 25, 2020 8:12 AM MDT
    4

  • 7404
    Lol, so you coat yourself in beaver fat??
      June 26, 2020 5:33 AM MDT
    1

  • 16763
    Drink plenty of gin and tonic. Mosquitoes aren't keen on alcohol and the quinine in the tonic will cure any malaria the brave ones shoot into you.
      June 25, 2020 8:18 AM MDT
    3

  • 44603
    The Brits got that from India, I believe.
      June 25, 2020 9:52 AM MDT
    3

  • 16763
    Explains why my wife likes it. Her mum is from the UK.
    I prefer to mix gin with Vermouth.
      June 25, 2020 4:59 PM MDT
    3

  • 7404
    Thanks, but I’d rather be covered in mosquito bites than drink gin and tonic :) I can’t stand the taste of either. 
      June 26, 2020 5:34 AM MDT
    1

  • 16763
    Or you could import a few spiders to eat the mosquitoes.
      June 27, 2020 12:16 AM MDT
    1

  • 457
    You might actually be pregnant now.
      June 25, 2020 12:27 PM MDT
    5

  • 53504

      Not again!  Listen, there is absolutely no way I’m paying child support for this one!  Grrrrrrr.

    ~

      June 25, 2020 4:10 PM MDT
    3

  • 7404
    Not again:/ This is the fifth time this month I’ve had a fake pregnancy. Randy’s going to have a melt down. 
      June 26, 2020 5:35 AM MDT
    2

  • 53504

      Randy, Randy, Randy!  Why is it always about Randy?  Oh, wait . . . 

    ~

      June 26, 2020 7:14 AM MDT
    1

  • 7404
    Exactly. 
      June 26, 2020 7:46 AM MDT
    1