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Discussion » Questions » Life and Society » King Randall the First has just been coronated as the monarch of your country, and its current government is suspended. Would you . . .
Randy D

King Randall the First has just been coronated as the monarch of your country, and its current government is suspended. Would you . . .

 

A. Abandon the country immediately?
B. Bribe him with a lifelong sandwich deal to get yourself a position in his court?
C. Conduct coup d’état to overthrow him and restore the rightful leadership?
D. Defend his ascension to the throne as the exact thing your country needs at the moment?
E. Establish a wait-and-see attitude, giving him 30, 60 or 120 months to determine whether or not life is better under his rule?
F. Find a way to infiltrate his government and bleed the coffers dry of the rich tilde-based revenues?
G. Give exclusive interviews to the foreign press of your knowledge of his past misdeeds, thereby embarrassing him and having the international community shame him into abdicating?
H. Hire a hitman?
I. Investigate further to uncover the origins of this fishy deal?
J. Join him as an ally and carve out your own piece of the pie as a nobleman or noblewoman?
K. Keep a secret stash of avocados, mayonnaise and Vegemite in preparation for a poisoning plot?
L. Lose your mind in giddy excitement that your wildest dreams have finally come true?
M. Milk this moment for all it’s worth by collecting inside information for tabloid exploitation?
N. Name yourself as opposition leader and organize the populace against him?
O. Offer yourself as a human sacrifice at his alter?
P. Pick and choose which of his cockamamie laws you wish to follow?
Q. Quit your job or profession and live off of his largess?
R. Remain free and never knuckle under the oppressive crush of his authoritarian hammer?
S. Study up on all those grammar-related topics you failed at so miserably at school?
T. Take it all in stride because you realize he’s the best thing that could have happened at this point in your country’s history?
U. Unite your family under his crest to ensure perpetual notoriety?
V. Verbalize your disappointment on corner soapboxes?
W. Wilt under the fever of public enchantment?
X.  Xerox your passport as proof of your loyalty to the former country?
Y. Yodel all day and all night from mountaintops to express your displeasure?
Z. Zigzag to avoid his snipers as you flee to the nearest borders?



~

Posted - July 12, 2020
Tags : None

Responses


  • 2327
    R. Remain free and never knuckle under the oppressive crush of his authoritarian hammer?




      July 12, 2020 6:45 PM MDT
    5

  • 53503

     

      Guards, keep an eye on this one. 


    ~

      July 12, 2020 7:32 PM MDT
    2

  • 11102
    C - I would sing One Gun  by 54-40 to my wife then I would hook up with the Rez boys and push Randall back to the 49th parallel. Cheers! This post was edited by Nanoose at July 14, 2020 5:25 AM MDT
      July 12, 2020 8:13 PM MDT
    3

  • 44602
    Do you actually think anyone is going to read all of that? Retirement has left you with too much time on your hands.
      July 12, 2020 8:20 PM MDT
    4

  • 5451
    Oh look, your first message as king!  Let's read it!



    Your bill is ready!

    Name:  King Randall the First

    Account: United States of America

    Balance: $26488140000000

    YTD finance charges:
    $283500000000

    Last payment received on 2020-07-01:
    $31500000000

    Minimum amount due on 2020-08-01:
    $31500000000


    Choose one:

    ❏ Minimum amount due: $31500000000

    ❏ Balance due: $26488140000000

    ❏ Other amount: $______________












    This post was edited by Livvie at July 14, 2020 5:25 AM MDT
      July 12, 2020 8:48 PM MDT
    4

  • 53503

     

      I was assured that I could pay with my AnswerMug credits, and that I also have the royal discount that only requires me to cover everything in your fake bill for just 315 of my credits. You’re a lousy treasurer!  Guards, off with her head!

    ~

      July 12, 2020 10:19 PM MDT
    1

  • 16763
    K. Nothing to do with poisoning, I want to make sure I have a stash when he makes them illegal. This post was edited by Slartibartfast at July 13, 2020 9:27 AM MDT
      July 12, 2020 8:58 PM MDT
    2

  • 53503

     

      You already know the ban on them would be the first royal proclamation, right?
    ~

      July 13, 2020 9:38 AM MDT
    2

  • 16763
    No problems, I'd be an underworld Vegemite Lord.
      July 14, 2020 5:29 AM MDT
    2

  • 13277
    "bleed the coffers dry of the rich tilde-based coffers."

    Huh? Have you gone and lost your grammatical bearings in your rush to seize power? This could trigger an investigation by the Grammar Police Department's Internal Affairs Bureau.
      July 12, 2020 9:32 PM MDT
    2

  • 53503

     

        Edited!

      July 12, 2020 10:21 PM MDT
    1

  • 13277
    OK. You probably are overstating tilde value, but at least that's an economics and financial markets issue, not a grammatical one. As your financial advisor, I suggest greater diversification with investments in quality growth stocks such as Alphabet (Google), Amazon, Apple, Facebook, and Microsoft.
      July 13, 2020 12:16 AM MDT
    3

  • 34250
    So you recommend he Follow the MAGA investment strategy. 
      July 13, 2020 5:53 AM MDT
    2

  • 13277
    Better known as FAAMG.
      July 13, 2020 5:59 AM MDT
    2

  • 34250
    Lol. I prefer Follow MAGA. 
      July 13, 2020 6:01 AM MDT
    1

  • 13277
    But calling it that is inaccurate. It implies that these stocks have only done well since 2017 when, in fact, they have outperformed the market for at least the last 10 years.
      July 13, 2020 7:44 AM MDT
    1

  • 34250
    Stocks have done better during Trump's term. Including your list. You call them whatever you want.  I choose to use Follow MAGA.  Normally I leave F out as the top 4 are MAGA being trillion dollar companies.  Facebook is far from the Trillion mark. 
      July 13, 2020 8:03 AM MDT
    0

  • 53503

     

      Guards, let this one live. (For now.)



    ~

      July 13, 2020 7:37 AM MDT
    2

  • 10995
    T. Take it all in stride because you realize he’s the best thing that could have happened at this point in your country’s history?

    There is very little that wouldn't be better than the current administration.
      July 13, 2020 7:30 AM MDT
    3

  • 4624
    A. Ask King Randall lots of questions about his purpose, policies and intentions.
    B. Bring the entire host of the media to the conference, along with political analysts, policy experts for all areas of government, and historians.
    C. Cultivate a pyramid style underground movement to gather support for and plan a revolution to restore democracy - perhaps by turning the monarchy into a purely honorary role.
    D. Determine the best ways to win the co-operation of civil service bureaucrats to keep the country running smoothly while the politics are being sorted out.
    E. Elevate King Randall to such dizzying heights of luxury that he forgets about the country. 
    F. Feed him an endless variety of healthy and delicious sandwiches, laced with ecstasy and hallucinogens.
    G. Give him plenty of jobs giving speeches, opening libraries, patronising charities and opening bridges.
    H. Hire his staff to keep an eye on him and ensure that he has no clue what is really going on in the country.
    I. Institute tildes as the national currency.
    J. Justify this approach to the people on the grounds of least violence, disruption and cost to the nation.
    K. Keep King Randy distracted with a harem of tantalizingly nubile, demure, intelligent and talented women.
    L. Let him out everyday for a long run in a magnificent set of gardens.
    M. Make sure he's so happy that he has nothing to complain about.

    etc
      July 13, 2020 8:58 AM MDT
    3

  • 53503

     

      You realise, of course, that I have just named you Queen of the monarchy, with a completely equal role in ruling the realm, right?

    ~

      July 13, 2020 9:08 AM MDT
    4

  • 4624
    ROFL :D  Ha, ha, ha, ha!

    So you like all the trappings with none of the tedium, drama and responsibility of rule, hey?
    Truly an Alfred to a Victoria? What about the Harem? Didn't Victoria have nine children?

    The thing is, I could never be a queen. I fantasise about how a ruler could bring in a golden age, but I'd never want to be one. I think it would be one of the most difficult tasks any human could take on, no matter what the system of government.

    I do prefer democracy. Despite its inefficiency, it means we can depose an inept or corrupt leader without needing a civil war and all its hundreds of thousands of dead and wounded. This post was edited by inky at July 14, 2020 1:49 PM MDT
      July 14, 2020 12:34 AM MDT
    3

  • 53503

     

      ((((See that, folks?  Less than 24 hours since she became Queen and already she’s plotting for my demise. Good help is so hard to find.  Sigh.))))

    ~

      July 14, 2020 12:43 AM MDT
    2