Two-part answers, please: what is one thing that you demand and another thing that you command? ~

I demand my raisin bran cereal to be only "Post Raisin Brand" brand.

I command my music listening choices.

This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at December 3, 2020 10:09 PM MST

Peace and quiet. Chess.

I demand clarity - especially in the vocab and syntax of questions and answers, and especially from my husband. Recently I realised that my emotion-backed demand is not just about the practicalities of preventing misunderstandings and quarrels.
It goes back to my mother being vague either when drunk or feeling ashamed about something (lying to try to hide it) so it's associated with a sense of chaos, anxiety, insecurity and chronic partial abandonment.
This new awareness helps me realise I need to be more gentle and tactful when my husband says something vague. His mind works differently to mine and I need to cease feeling resentful when I have to ask questions to get clarification.

I rarely command. When I do, it's because there's some urgent safety issue at stake and the behaviour of others suggests that they've forgotten it.
An example was yesterday. I was out riding on the side of the road with six other horses and riders; we needed to be in single file on the verge. They'd all been told before the ride began. Some of the women let their horses bunch together, causing them to spread out across the road. This infuriates drivers, some so much that they will deliberately charge at, honk at and scare the horses, which can end up with injuries and death. It could also get us banned from using the roads in that area. So, from the rear, I shouted my command like a sergeant on the parade ground, "SINGLE FILE!" Thankfully, they got the message and obeyed.




This post was edited by inky at December 4, 2020 6:11 AM MST

Privacy, respect.