Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Does your partner's previous sex life bother you?
CallMeIshmael

Does your partner's previous sex life bother you?

What are you looking down here for - okay, yeah it bothers me.  So shoot me.

Posted - September 15, 2021
Tags : None

Responses


  • 1499
    I've always, genuinely wondered if it's fair to let that be a factor. 

    If I suspect that it might, hypothetically, bother me if she had slept with 'many' people (whatever number we put on it) before our relationship, then that should oblige me to follow the same standard. (I know I don't want to be a hypocrite.) But if I follow that standard too strictly for too long, it makes me the weird or undesirable one... 

    I'd like to say that I wouldn't judge my partner, one way or the other. Whether that is concretely true... I'm not sure.
      September 15, 2021 4:06 AM MDT
    5

  • 6098
    Fair enough, I guess.  What is good for the gander etc.  But should not become like a competition, because one's desires and opportunities  will often differ widely from another's.  And if sex is the main thing keeping you together then that will not work at all.
      September 15, 2021 7:24 AM MDT
    5

  • 1499
    That's sensible. Nice to see you back! 

    Would you say there's typically a difference here between men and women? Is a man supposed to go out and accumulate more sexual experience?
      September 16, 2021 5:19 AM MDT
    3

  • 34253
    No. As long as it is not an issue now.  ie. Unknown children popping up, STDs, old partners making contact, etc. 
      September 15, 2021 6:10 AM MDT
    6

  • 7792
    I have no idea what her sexual status is, but the way I see it, better him than me.
      September 15, 2021 6:47 AM MDT
    6

  • 6098
    Nope.  Rather his current sex life.  Or lack thereof. 
      September 15, 2021 7:19 AM MDT
    5

  • 2999
    Not at all. 
      September 16, 2021 5:24 AM MDT
    7

  • 23576

    What partner?


    :) Ha




    This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at December 10, 2021 8:24 AM MST
      September 17, 2021 7:38 PM MDT
    8

  • 10052
    You took my answer! 

    Ha! 

    :)
      September 17, 2021 7:56 PM MDT
    4

  • 23576
     :)

    Yes, ha! :)
      September 17, 2021 8:02 PM MDT
    4

  • 1499
    Oh, the three of us? I'd make a joke about surely being able to work something out -- but it's not that kind of site.
      September 18, 2021 11:52 AM MDT
    4

  • 23576
    :)
    :)

      September 18, 2021 7:19 PM MDT
    3

  • 23576
    Or we three could make into one of those sites. And off the site we could be thrown.  :)
      September 19, 2021 4:15 PM MDT
    4

  • 10052
    Hypothetically, I'd be most concerned about disease. Other than that, I don't think I'd consider anyone as a potential partner until I trusted that I knew him well enough to decide if I'd be interested in a relationship. Previous relationships would be a consideration in that, but not a sole determining factor. 
      September 17, 2021 8:01 PM MDT
    4

  • 1499
    Nope. Much too reasonable. 

    Pick a number and stick with it.
      September 18, 2021 11:57 AM MDT
    4

  • 10052
    Nope. People can change. And I'm not really into numbers, anyway. 

    I also have a past. Probably extremely tame by today's standards, but still... not as pristine as one might think. Hehe. 
      September 18, 2021 12:42 PM MDT
    4

  • 1499
    Agreed, and even the lack of a past would be a past, hehe. Of course you have every right to it :) It's a foolish partner who would make a problem of it with you. This post was edited by Danilo_G at July 10, 2022 7:40 PM MDT
      September 18, 2021 1:50 PM MDT
    4

  • 10052
    Yes, this is true. "Confirmed bachelors" begin to become suspect at a certain age. Hehe! 
    Yeah, my imaginary boyfriends never seem to take issue with my past at all. LOL!  

      September 18, 2021 7:59 PM MDT
    4

  • 11103
    No I know the guy didn't come close to me because I used to take showers with him in gym class. Cheers and happy weekend!
      September 18, 2021 7:29 PM MDT
    5

  • 44604
    No, as long as my previous sex life doesn't bother her. We never talk about it anyway.
      October 1, 2021 5:40 PM MDT
    4

  • 53505

     

      Nope, because I was her first. 

    ~

      December 10, 2021 7:32 AM MST
    4

  • 23576
    You were a "her"?
      ;)
      July 10, 2022 7:41 PM MDT
    1

  • 53505

     

      I don’t know what you mean. My response above simply means that she was a virgin when she and I got married (I was not a virgin), therefore, I was the first person with whom she ever had sex.
    ___

      July 10, 2022 8:41 PM MDT
    2

  • 23576
    Do forgive me!!
    I get it completely now! And I had to reread your reply here slowly to catch on.
    I read your answer as a typo for (thinking it was a joke) "I was here first."

    I understand now -- You were her first person with whom she was physically intimate, as you said. I tell you -- I might do better than posting on the site when I'm tired.

    Thanks for your patience!  :)

    Hey, and yesterday - - I thought of you! No kidding -- I saw a woman who reminded me immediately of that gorgeous smiling woman you posted. You know which one - - possibly the most beautiful woman I've seen in a picture anywhere.  :)
      July 10, 2022 8:47 PM MDT
    2