Humorous answers only, please, and nothing work-related. What is a service that you provide?

I have a button that literally every person has laughed out loud upon seeing it:


"Losing your mind? Ask me how."

My face provides a passage for cats from the cold side of the bed to the warm side of the bed.  Seeing how these two sides seem to change throughout the night, this passage is heavily traveled.

I provide my wife plenty of chances to show off her housecleaning skills.

Honest K will hand polish all your gold, silver and brass items. Many years experience; you can always  trust me.. call anytime...........


This post was edited by Kittigate at November 27, 2021 6:21 PM MST

I will tell you the truth when you ask me what I think.

I pick up actual crap every day. 

The not-so-fun side of being owned by dogs. 

Bad puns. See my questions.

I make my husband very happy in many ways.  One being my newly acquired ability to cook Indian culinary delights.  I am happy to create something interesting in our art studio while he is watching football. 

I provide money-laundering service.
Send me your dirty money, and I will launder it.  I'll even fold it before sending it back.

{Disclaimer: Service provider is not liable for shrunken funds due to laundering.}