...
I did it once about two or three years after Google had become a big deal and one of the trendy activities was to enter one’s own name as a keyword search. I don’t remember the specifics of what I found, I believe it was kind of underwhelming, which suited me just fine. I have absolutely no desire to be located online, heck, I don’t even want to be located offline or in real life, so I maintain as low of a profile as possible. I like to be information-resistant.
In more recent years since I conducted that first search, Google and everything else about the internet exploded into much more intrusive meddling into everyday life, so I’ve been even more reluctant than before to check myself out. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I search my information, it might be the impetus for Randy D* hits and sightings. Homey don’t play dat.
*That’s not my real identity.
Hold on, this brings up so many questions!
What kinds of sandwiches do they make in Italy? Is the tilde exchange rate better in Milan or in Rome? Are there any houses with basements I might be able to rent? Will the Italian Customs agency confiscate my vats of US-made massage oils? Is my grammar cop badge valid in Italy for the English language? Does Jane S ever vacation in Italy, and if so, where does she usually stay? How do you say, “No mayonnaise and no guacamole” in Italian? Why don’t I already have a chapter of The Harem there? Oh, never mind why; I’ll just start one when I get there. Nobody is going to tell Livvie that I’ve gone to Italy, right? Grrrrrrrr.
~
I know, and she also said her last name is Italian. Try to keep up.
~
I neither stated nor implied nor intimated nor inferred that anyone’s name had anything to do with his or her residence, nor did I suggest that I was going to anyone’s residence. I merely meant that because she had mentioned Italy, that’s where (jokingly) I was headed.
~
¡You didn’t mention the ñ! My stocks and bonds portfolios are all tied up in the ~ ; not in any of the other accent marks! I’ll be ruined financially!
I can’t stay at any AirBnB locations ever again; their organization has banned me worldwide after that nasty incident in Lisbon involving the grandniece of the Thai ambassador (grrrrrrrr).
I hope the shipping companies offer climate-controlled options; these particular massage oils must remain at body temperature or they’ll begin to go bad after 12 hours.
Jane S won’t speak to me other than to remind me (yet again) about restraining orders and the chemical strength of the latest mace and pepper spray products (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr). I guess I’ll just have to kidnap her travel agent to find the information I need.
Thank you for the Italian translation I asked for.
Wait, Livvie is at the airport and boarding a flight to Rome? Quick, someone have my valet contact my personal secretary immediately to have all of my reservations changed from Rome to Milan. ASAP! Don’t just sit there staring at the screen, this urgent, it’s a bonafide emergency! Every step and precaution must be taken to ensure that my path doesn’t cross with Livvie’s! Grrrrrrr.
~
Sí, con razón. En inglés, nos referimos a ella como un solo símbolo. Es usted que tiene la razón.
~
¡Jajajaja! (That’s Spanish for LoL.)
~
Grrrrrrr, I’ve got nothing . . . oh, wait! I know; I’ll hang my hair over the back of my seat and cover your screen until you ask the flight attendant to move me to a different seat!
~
Grrrrrrrr.
Kittigate 