*This is not about benevolent, philanthropic, generous, admirable, positive, sensible, thoughtful, sane and caring things a person might do with a too much money situation. It’s the exact opposite.
For my part, I’m eyeing a 48,000+ acre parcel of land where I’ll have a tilde-themed amusement park built, or I’ll pay to have all the women of a certain demo graphic whose first names begin with the letter J and who live in a particular northern state and city that begin with the letter M rounded up and entered into a database in order to narrow down my search parameters for my snuggle buggle, or I’d . . .
Wait, wait, wait, wait! You’re a millionairess, you can now well afford to pursue offbeat dreams that have tortured your longings lo these many years! Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to delve into this wicked pleasure, this gnawing curiosity, this divine quirk in your soul!
~
Fake news; there’s no typo in there! Falsely accusing someone of a grammar-related offense is a violation of law.
Please come along with me, Miss, I’m taking you to Police Headquarters Randall’s Red Room. You have the right to remain silent about all the things you and I are about to do to each other. Anything you say about it must be highly complimentary of me. You have the right to select the scented massage oil that you like the best. If you do not select one, I will anoint you with one anyway . . .
~
(Sigh.)
*This is not about benevolent, philanthropic, generous, admirable, positive, sensible, thoughtful, sane and caring things a person might do with a too much money situation. It’s the exact opposite.
(Incorrect comma placement on two occasions: the comma in the first sentence should be after the word “undecided”, and the comma in the second sentence should be after the word “work”.)
I think I’ll buy my own country where I’ll be in charge. I’ll name it something like Livviestan. Of course, I would have to buy part of an existing country since unclaimed lands are in short supply around the world. I don’t think the US would really miss the southwestern corner so I’ll buy San Diego County and make that Livviestan. Yeah, that sounds like fun, lol. It’ll be an awesome place to live!
Randy? Randy? Why are you camping out in front of the Livviestan passport office? It doesn’t open until Monday morning!
This post was edited by Livvie at May 1, 2022 7:23 PM MDT
I’m a political refugee seeking to be free of the vile regime run by a crime boss who has been out to get me for years! Help, somebody help me! Big Sister is watching!
~
Hey, this isn’t a sandwich, it’s just a slice of avocado toast with Vegemite and mayonnaise on it! Grrrrrrrr.
:(
“I am Livvie, the Empress Supreme of Livviestan, I rule over my peasant subjects with impunity and vengeful thirst to crush all who even consider disobedience, especially you, you miserable little malcontent Randolph D Randall! Look at me! You cannot resist me, I am all powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing! You must bend to my will! Look deeply into my eyes, lousy crumb! You will eat whatever sandwiches I have placed before you. You will enjoy them. You will love them. Your love for Livvie Cuisine sandwiches will surpass your love of self. Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier. Nothing will seem or appear to be avocado, mayonnaise, or Vegemite. Your mind will not be able to perceive those substances. You will find every bite delicious and nourishing. You will beg for more. Look into my eyes and obey. Succumb to my will. Your mind becomes mine. You’re getting very sleepy, sleepier than you’ve ever been before. I control your every thought. Sleep, Randolph, sleeeeeeeeeep. When I snap my fingers twice, you will awaken under my spell and eat of the coveted sandwich. Your mind drifts further and further from your own control, you only know obedience to the Empress. Sleep, sleep. All of your brain functions are guided by me. Listen for the snap of my fingers and you are mine. (Next session, we’ll wrestle those tildes away from you.) Grrrrrrr.”
___