[~]
Hey, wait! Catch those tildes, don’t just let them get away!! If they’re the wild variety, they’re the best that can be found because they’re better than the man-made ones! Besides, they don’t belong to anyone, so registration and licensing aren’t required! I’ll save a fortune adding them to my collection! Somebody get a net or something! Grrrrrrr.
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I think you’ve convinced him. (Cough, cough.)
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Wait, Savvy, please don’t believe anything that Jaimie tells you about me, Jaimie, don’t believe anything that Jane S tells you about me, Jane S, don’t believe anything that Livvie tells you about me, and Livvie, don’t believe anything that Savvy tells you about me. All of you, please just listen to me; I can explain everything. Grrrrrrr.
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Nothing to see here, please move along, just go on about your day, this is official business, ladies and gentlemen, clear the sidewalks, please, that’s it, thank you, thank you, keep it moving, keep it moving, just routine, folks, nothing that would interest you, please don’t block the throughway, go on home if you don’t mind . . . especially you, Miss, keep moving. (Grrrrrrr.)
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Be forewarned: my attorneys are on their way over here right now, I won’t make a statement outside of their presence, and as far as that Livvie woman is concerned, I was lured in here by that vixen Ansley, who alluded to sandwiches. Well, I’m not going to eat anything that Livvie had a part in preparing for me, not even if it’s a stack of sandwiches three feet high and four feet wide . . . hold on a second, what’s that in the reception hall, it looks like a stack of sandwiches three feet high and four feet wide. Pass me some napkins, some mustard, and a bottle of root beer!
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There’s an enraged a lovely group of women in the building that have recently escaped his dungeon become aware of the awesomeness that is Randy D and I am to ensure that he gets inside the building promptly to get what’s coming to him.
Hold on, why is there a crate from Australia on the loading dock, it’s not full of Vegemite, is it? Is that a Hellman’s mayonnaise truck? Something suspicious is going on here. And since when is avocado an appropriate massage oil? Whose idea was the heavy-duty restraint system? I don’t like the way this is looking . . . I’d like to leave now, please. Grrrrrrr.
:(
You’re the only one who cares.
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Guide me, O Wise One.
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