*”Peeve” is an outstanding name for a pet, right?
*Since the hair on our heads is actually dead, how do cosmetic and toiletry companies get away with selling us “hair food”?
*Is it possible to be too tired to sleep?
*Why do some works of art depict Adam and Eve with navels?
*In those societies or cultures where some people only have one name, is it a first name, a middle name, or a last name?
*What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?
*Why are there signs that read: “Illiterate? Classes begin every month, just call this number”?
*Why do so many people refer to a cow as being a male animal? The word actually means female!
*Did you know that throughout your entire life, your thumb is the exact perfect size to fit snugly into your nostril?
*Doesn’t it seem to be a little backward that a No-Tell Motel is for an illicit rendezvous, but the supposedly classier establishment is called a hotel?
*Technically, don’t you really unpeel a banana (and other fruits)?
*Modern day phones don’t have any type of dial, so why do some of us still say that’s what we do when we call a number?
*Why isn’t a stand-alone house called a uniplex?
*A pair of shoes or boots or socks are two separate items, so why are one-item pants also called a pair?
*I said to myself and I asked myself, “Why do some people say, ‘I thought to myself’; they can say to another person or ask another person, but it’s not as if they can think to another person!”
*Are you one of the people who read this list and put your thumb into your nostril to see if it is true?
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Call it having too much time on my hands, but yes I have -
How come wrong numbers are never busy? Since they’re wrong, the SPAM callers don’t know about them yet.
Does that screwdriver belong to Philip? Not any more. Finders keepers!
Does killing time damage eternity? We don’t know, as no time has ever come back from the dead to tell us.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Due to an unpublicized “vine accident”, he isn't able to produce testosterone anymore. (also explains his "high-pitched yell".)
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? If one couldn’t move their lips, it would be called lip stuck.
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? No. He just slipped them a dollar.
How do you get off a non-stop flight? Jump
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? Yes. That’s because it makes you spend a lot of time sitting in jail because the cops think you’re drunk.
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Simply because a child is mentally challenged doesn’t mean they aren’t able to run.
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot? Marketing. It seems nobody wanted to eat a bowl of “hot”.
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there? Because so many people are electing to stay home and watch the game that they can’t afford to pay the players the ridiculous salaries they’re demanding.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? The term is describing a driver’s heart rate and temper, not the flow of traffic. (what is wrong with you idiots! Don't make me take out my driving finger!)
Element 99 