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Baybreeze

Are there any guys here who have never cheated on their gf or spouse?

I have a fear of closeness with men, and while I want very much to be close, have a deep bond and real love, I've seen so many who have cheated :/ I guess I'm inquiring to quell my fears (or hope to) by seeing if there are any men here who have had a close friendship and love with their gf or spouse and 'not' strayed...

Posted - April 24, 2017
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Responses


  • 3523
    I have not.  But then I am not able to express affection when I feel none and my wife and I had a great sex life well into our 50s.    That is not true for many people.   Men have the same fear about women.  I looked up the statistics a long time ago and at that time was about 60% of men that cheated on their wives and 40% of women in the USA.  Do you think that is accurate?  I do and I would like to know what you think.
      April 24, 2017 2:17 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    I think that statistic sounds right, although 40 does seem high for women? Maybe 30 I'd assume... I'm so glad there are men out there like YOU who do not cheat or did not contemplate it.. ty C :) I just wonder *some* guys , when the sex isn't 'great' (but still good) would they just stray? Guess many would but hopefully a percentage wouldn't,  that would care about her and their bond too...
      April 24, 2017 2:59 PM MDT
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  •   April 24, 2017 2:42 PM MDT
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  • 16732
    Works for gay guys too. Ever cheated on a bf?
      April 24, 2017 10:10 PM MDT
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  • Nope...I can honestly look you straight in the eye and tell you without any trepidation that I have never, ever cheated on a girlfriend or a spouse
      April 24, 2017 2:39 PM MDT
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  • HAHAHA!!!

    We're representing, son
      April 24, 2017 2:53 PM MDT
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  • Some say that a man is only as faithful as his prospects.   That might very well be true or have a strong ring of truth to it.  However it's the same for women as well.


    Look at it this way,  if anyone dates for long enough the chances they will be cheated on by someone is likely.   The risk of having it happen is worth the rewards and possibilities.  Being cheated on sucks, make no mistakes about it.  However, looking at it objectively  chances are you are likely to have  many good times with the person even if they it does come down to  it.  So even when cheated on one can often come out ahead in the pleasure reward. Factored in with the fact that basing your life around the fear of being possibly cheated on will only keep you from finding or having chances of finding someone who wont?  It's not worth allowing that fear to stifle the chances we take.

    Just get out there and get your practice relationships out of the way as soon as you can is my recommendation to anyone.

      April 24, 2017 2:43 PM MDT
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  • I've had a strong  decades long MILF crush on her.
      April 24, 2017 2:52 PM MDT
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  • I tend to agree. ;)
      April 24, 2017 3:04 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks Glis; you are so right- I'm tired of living in FEAR that a guy will just ditch me or crush me emotionallycheat.. Maybe someone WON'T. I already feel low self esteem and I'm not too confident, and b/c of those two things I often think a guy just might cheat or ditch me for other women who ARE confident :/  I just hope I can move past this fear of dating at all, and then past the fear of them cheating or ditching me... It just seems like if they DID cheat the times you did have of love/laughter etc, wouldn't 'mean' much; b/c it certainly didn't to THEM at that point, you know? I guess you could look back on it though with fondness... just wish you could tell if someone WAS trustworthy or not (and not just charming or 'appearing' trustworthy).. T y as alway s GLIS
      April 24, 2017 2:56 PM MDT
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  • It puts a taint on them in retrospect but not always to the point of making it worth nothing.   Even so,   in those moments while they are going on and everything is going good....   It's still worth something.   If it happens it will be painful and lonely and put a spin on those good times, but even if it happens the other option is to always be in the pain of wanting and wondering what if and always lonely. Besides the longer someone puts it off from those fears the longer it takes to learn what to look for to avoid it.  Wait too long and then life is over or to close to being over that one never gets to figure it out.  If you wait till a mid-life crisis to throw caution into the wind then you're really screwed and gonna be set up for some bad times.
      April 24, 2017 3:03 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    Just an informal observation... guys are generally better at remembering and placing worth on the *good* times aka remembering the positives than women... we tend to remember more the hurt and pain oh and the suffering afterwards
      April 24, 2017 3:21 PM MDT
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  • Kinda like when women cheat they make up some BS about how it wasn't about sex.
      April 24, 2017 5:49 PM MDT
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  • There are no guarantees for any of us that someone we love won't end up hurting us.  If you date enough you probably will find some twerp who will cheat but what you have to remember is that it's a reflection of his character it's not anything you've done.  If a relationship is not working out then a decent guy is going to be honest with you, which would cause a great deal of hurt I'm not going to whitewash it.  The thing most cheaters don't want to face up to is that what they're doing is dishonest they may consider themselves a good and honest person but it's basic dishonesty to cheat on a relationship.
    Get out there and try you won't know how many nice men are available if you let your fear of being hurt stop you from dating.  The other side of the coin is that there are many, many men who've been hurt by women cheating on them.
      April 24, 2017 8:36 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks Yoga, I always think EVERYthing is on 'me'... such a great point to make that cheating would be on HIM, and it is mature to end things before you go out with another /date etc. I recently read about cheating, stumbled upon it online, and it said when one cheats on a SO they didn't have the decency to end the relationship FIRST- they were only seeking /partaking in relationship hopping at that point.  Thanks for that view that it's not the person being cheated on Yoga.
      April 24, 2017 9:45 PM MDT
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  • 16732
    A man needn't give in to temptation. I've been hit on a number of times, no matter how openly I display the ring on my left hand. I either ignore it or firmly explain that I'm taken.
      April 24, 2017 10:09 PM MDT
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  • That's not the point of that opening comment.  
      April 24, 2017 10:27 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    There are guys who don't cheat.. for sure, definitely... The problem is that it's pretty much impossible to determine this at the start, or even sometimes until it happens..
      April 24, 2017 3:22 PM MDT
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  • If it gets to the point of commitment, I think you'll know and trust (there's that word again) the person enough to know if they are really into you (and you, them). The challenge in any relationship is keeping things interesting long term, and knowing when things are getting a little humdrum. Keep your expectations in the troposphere, and be yourself, build some confidence.

    Just remember, there is no litmus test, and any guy (or girl) can be seduced in a moment of weakness. Just make sure you know where he goes to drown his anger when he storms out of the house in a rage after a fight.
      April 24, 2017 3:26 PM MDT
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  • Oh... reminds me of a song.
      April 24, 2017 3:35 PM MDT
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  • Man....  Come on.  I had a rough night and I hate the F****ing Eagles, man.
      April 24, 2017 5:48 PM MDT
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  • 16732
    Never, ever. We've been together 29 years, married for almost 28. She got my virginity and I can still count all the people I've had sex with on the thumbs of one hand.
      April 24, 2017 6:41 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks a LOT, S, it makes me happy, very much, to hear that.. :)
      April 24, 2017 9:38 PM MDT
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  • That depends on what you mean by strayed. Have I cheated on my wife? Absolutely not. Have I noticed other women I think are beautiful? Absolutely.
      April 24, 2017 7:00 PM MDT
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