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Baybreeze

How would you go about someone who ignores or stonewalls you?

The woman I've helped nanny for was very kind in the beginning and flexible, and overall I've enjoyed it but lately she does not seem to care about communicating with me on many things. I email her and she takes a week to get back if she does at all, and lately keeps changing my morning hours just by a half hour (letting me know that morning)... I asked her this eve. what time to come tomorrow and said she'd get back, and hasn't... I don't know whether to say 'I do need to know the day/night before' or just try to deal with it (I've been thinking of looking into alternate position as well).. what would you do?

Posted - June 8, 2017
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Responses


  • 16763
    Ask her to let you know the night before, that's not unreasonable. Many employers give a fortnight's notice of any changes to the roster, asking for 12 hours' notice is being generous.
      June 8, 2017 10:45 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    That is what I thought; knowing the night before seems pretty standard or reasonable.. I get sometimes she's trying to tailor it to when he's dressed/eaten (toddler), but she lets' me know only sometimes 10 mins before I'm supposed to be there that I 'could come later' ... I had already gotten up early for that time, and it keeps happening.. now I ask her for tomorrow which time, she said she'd let me know 2 hours ago, and didn't. :/  It's not pushy to just say 'please let me know night before?' I have issues with any confrontation at all..
      June 8, 2017 10:52 PM MDT
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  • 1138
    OH, and ty for answering my Question as well S :)
      June 8, 2017 10:52 PM MDT
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  • 46117
    I think it is time for you to move on already.   Enough?
      June 8, 2017 11:14 PM MDT
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  • 2657
    Sorry you are treated that way. It sounds like she may be taking you for granted or possibly even doesn't have any respect for you or your time. Pretty sure that she wouldn't like it if you started waiting until morning to tell her what time you can make it. Perhaps start sometimes telling her that you can't make it until such and such time this morning. For example if she usually has you come in around 7-7:30 and sometimes tells you to wait until 8. Call her in the morning and tell her that since you know she is flexible that you have an errand to run and you will be there at 8 or that you decided to sleep in and want be able to arrive until 8. Not saying that is the best thing to do but somehow she has to figure out that what she is doing is very unloving and self-centered of her.
      June 9, 2017 4:31 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    Thanks friend... I put up with a LOT from people and just say 'that's how they are' or they were busy, or some other blah blah... yet they'd be on ME in a heartbeat if I did those things.. just like you said. She finally got back to me very early this morning, and canceled short notice b/c her husband was home. Well again, I don't mind being candeled once in a while, but she has already cut my hours a lot (b/c she now stays at home with newborn)... so for me to miss out today was a bummer too.  I think you are right, when it starts again that the time keeps flip flopping each day, and me not knowing until that morning, I will say why don't we just make it 10 from now on.... (she may think well sometimes he gets up earlier , the toddler) but to keep changing my time every day is getting frustrating on my end (I won't say that part though Lol).. ty for your kind words texas, I appreciate that !!
      June 9, 2017 9:41 AM MDT
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  • 2657
    You're welcome.
      June 10, 2017 8:51 PM MDT
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  • 10993
    You will find it a lot easier if you just accept her the way she is. If you're available when she calls, fine, if not then she is out of luck. Either she will figure out that you need more structure in your schedule or she will find someone who is always on call for her and leave you free to find someone who respects your time.
      June 9, 2017 5:00 AM MDT
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  • 22891
    maybe you should go work for someone else
      June 10, 2017 4:31 PM MDT
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