I'll have you know that I happen to belong here, Lady, and I resent the implication that I'm riff raft! Now where's your cable TV connection, I need to bootleg off if it because my credit is so bad that I can no longer get my own account with them. What cat? Oh, I think I stepped on her tail and she took off running down the block. Of course the front door was open, I had a few of my buddies coming in and out all day long and I didn't feel like opening it every time they came through. Oh, and by the way, you're all out of groceries because we ate everything while you were at work. Hurry up and buy some more food, I'm hungry again. Speaking of which, there's some minor damage to the cabinet doors under the kitchen sink. Your phone rang a couple of times while you were gone, so I answered it. Some guy got all angry, maybe he thinks I'm your husband or boyfriend. Those muddy footprints will come out of your carpet, all you have to do is hire one of the expensive cleaning services. The regular vacuum cleaner should get up most of the toenail clippings, though. Listen, if anyone from the police department asks about me, you never saw me, ok? No, no, no, no, it's nothing serious, just routine. Why am I hiding from them? Who's hiding? I just don't want them to find me again. How's that? Yes, but only fir six months, and it wasn't prison or anything like that. Just county lock-up. Three or four times, I think; who remembers details like that? This popcorn sure is greasy, but those stains on the couch don't look permanent. I let my buddy Glue Fingers "borrow" that jewelry you had hidden in the lockbox under your bed, is that ok? He can have it back to you in a couple of weeks. What? I wasn't in your bedroom, he was. He and his girlfriend were avoiding her husband, so they spent a few hours in there. She's the one who found your lockbox I don't know, I think she said that she needed some clean panties and another bra, she was trying to find your undies drawer. It's no big deal, she's almost the same size that you are. Wait, no, she's about twice your size. Don't trip, I'm sure she'll return your bra and panties in a few weeks. How's that? No, it's because she lives out of town, actually, she lives in Mexico. She can only get over here when the Border Patrol doesn't catch her. At least they told me about the jewelry, and now I told you, right? I mean, they didn't just try to sneak away with it. Does this look infected? I've been scratching it all day, but it only bugs me when I wear pants. Wait, wait, don't go into your bathroom, someone clogged the toilet and it overflowed onto the floor! We've been going to the gas station down the block to use their public restroom. Gee, you sure are stressing out, Bay. I'll tell you what, go on to the gas station, run your errands, then as soon as you get back from the grocery store and wash all those dishes piled up in the kitchen, maybe you can cook a little something for all of us, but after that you should put your feet up and relax for a while. No, think nothing of it, you don't have to thank me. We ordered some first-run action movies on your Pay-Per-View . . .
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This post was edited by Randy D at July 4, 2017 8:16 PM MDT
This post was edited by 
WelbyQuentin 