What would it take to make you happy right now?

Two really good choices. Once you have one, the other one seems to take priority.

I can give you that.

Thanks. Now I'm happy.

Don't treat your anxiety like the enemy. It's part of you, like the color of you eyes and the way you laugh. When you feel anxious, acknowledge it and tell yourself, 'it's just anxiety and it won't harm me'.

Remember that most people are too focused on themselves to think about whether what you're doing is acceptable or not. Just act as if you are confident. No one will know the difference.

Anxiety is treatable with meds and coping techniques. If you haven't done so, make an appointment with your primary doctor and get evaluated. Most primary doctors will prescribe a daily medication and/or other meds for those times when you are having extra anxiety. Getting the worst of it under control will make a huge difference and you can go on to work on what you need to work on. I have first-hand experience with this.

You would be surprised at how many seemingly self-confident people have an anxiety disorder.  It's just your body producing more stress hormones than you need. It's not a character flaw, it's a medical condition.

Jane, this is so spot on!  Thank you for taking the time to write this to Baybreeze.  

In speaking with a therapist at the beginning of the year, she told me there is a certain therapy that has been very useful in treating anxiety disorders.  It is called ACT therapy and may be something Baybreeze might want to look into.  
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-takes-depression/201102/introduction-acceptance-and-commitment-therapy

Thanks Harry , you also are so so kind! I just made an appointment to see someone, so I hope they are kind, and warm and can maybe go into that with me too. Have a great night!!

I am so happy you have made that first step!  You have a great night too!

Thanks a lot Jane. I appreciate your care and kind words. I feel like it's an enemy b/c it stems directly from years and YEARS of being mocked, belittled, hit and screamed at. I feel uptight around others, feeling any moment they'll not like me, feel I'm not this /that for them... I know it is absurd to think that way yet my subconscious identifies still : You are less. weak, small, dumb. Others 'know' .... Thanks so much for saying no one really is thinking about if what I'm doing is acceptable. I feel so low about dating and think wow, can't I pull it together? I feel less of a human being even b/c I've never had a true boyfriend :( I feel my friends look down on me, b/c of my low confidence. I have to remember its not my fault for all this, yet it deosn't make it feel better.. I WANT a guy and love and connection yet just think who would want me with my anxieties??  I'm sorry you also went through this.. you are wiser and kind and a really great responder and ty again for always sharing your thoughts:)

Hi Baybreeze! I do hope you keep us updated with your appointment! I'm a firm believer that EVERYONE should be in therapy at some point in their lives, if not always, because nothing is better than having a professional validate your innermost thoughts and feelings. I did it for a while and it was life-changing, though it was slow going at first. I'm looking to get back into it more regularly. Jane was on point with her advice, I second it! And I want to let you know that you can reach out to me, or others here I'm sure, if you're struggling! 

Aww thx so much friend. That meant so much to read that today. I've been reluctant about therapy b/c I feel they'd look down on me, pity me, or not even believe how bad the abuse has been to lead me to not even having dated in my 30's. but I feel so sad most days, and feel stuck, and feel there's no true 'me' sometimes.. so I made an appt. I hope she is open and engaging. Ty again and I'm glad it was great for you with your therapy! Did you have anxiety? (either about the therapy or just things in life?) Ty again so much, enjoy your day :)

Jane, thx for best answer... wishes for a great day for you :)

I'm just adding a big "Ditto, I agree" to all the responses you've received thus far. I speak from personal experience - - counseling and I have an anxiety disorder (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).
Be Well,
WelbyQuentin
:) This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at July 21, 2017 3:26 PM MDT

Aww doesn't it suck ? It zaps joy and freedom and sometimes spotaneity out of life :/ Ty so much for such a kind message. I hope this new counselor can help me find 'me'. I had to supress any notion of a self for MANY years just to survive my mother's tyranny, bullying and rage. I thought I was bad, and weak most of my life.. and I don't want to feel less or tainted anymore. Someone recently told me, and I must try to remind myself EVERY day of it, that anxiety is a bully. It wants to taunt you and make something BIG out of nothing... and scare you. WEll here is to claiming our Peace and joy and power too ! *huggg

You're welcome, Baybreeze! This is manageable I've found. For me, a snese of humor about it all helps me immensely! To lighten up about the anxiety and laugh at its humor (though the pain can still be there), if that makes sense.

Yes to your words! ~  "Someone recently told me, and I must try to remind myself EVERY day of it, that anxiety is a bully. It wants to taunt you and make something BIG out of nothing... and scare you. WEll here is to claiming our Peace and joy and power too ! "

Definitely!
:)

Excellent goals.

Thanks, JaneS.
:)

You can use other letters like S and R.

OK OK......All joking aside, I want my daughter home.