Discussion»Questions»Emotions» You cannot demand/order/require people to love you. They can pretend. Did you ever pretend to love someone you didn't? Why?
Hmm no I can't pretend about anything... I once met this man who was utterly stinking rich, and he really liked me... but he was such a bore, and a chauvinist too. I really *wanted* to love him... but there was no way I could and then when he was un-supportive, to the point of nasty one time when my daughter had had a problem at school and I cancelled a date to be with her - that was the final straw.
AWESOME. There are women who would cave to a man like that. He was looking for a victim that he could reign over. Good for you for standing your ground, because I promise you, not one dime of his would be enjoyed by you. He would make sure of that. He is not happy, so no one around him is going to be any happier.
Something else we have in common. When I was 19 I dated a doctor briefly. Maybe we went on half a dozen dates. He was 35 so my mom wasn't thrilled about the age difference but she was VERY THRILLED about his being a doctor. He was an OK guy but there was zero spark. I tried to find things in him that were important to me and I couldn't. I guess I didn't try very hard. He'd drive up in his Cadillac and I was always embarrassed by that. I know. Lotsa women are impressed by fancy cars. I never was. So I ended it. He was nice enough and gentlemanly enough but that wasn't enough for me. I have no regrets. Thank you for your reply Addb and Happy Monday to thee! :)
Ooooh cadillac! Now that would be a different matter entirely :P Was it a classic, or would it be now? See I am very, very into classic American cars :P
Well sweetie. I'm almost 80 and I was 19 so I guess you can do the math. It had the huge fins in back and it was a convertible. I LOVE Lamborghinis now and the first car I fell in love with for its classic lines was the 1969 XKE! I adore sleek and I'm not a fan of gingerbread stylewise.! At auto shows it's the concept cars I go for most of which never get built! They are always roped off on moving stages so you can ooh and aah but you cannot touch!:)
no i never pretended to love or even care about someone i didnt. it would be more of a headache to not be straight forward...not like id be doing them any favors by lying....besides...im not a liar or a good actress...so it wouldnt be believable anyway.
Me too maggie. I do not have a poker face. As I have often said when I 'd play penny ante poker with family/friends all they had to do was look at my face and they'd fold or stay in and double down. I don't know how folks can control elation or joy if they're holding a really good hand. As for lying I tried it when I was a kid and I was never good at it so I stopped. Thank you for your thoughtful answer and Happy Monday to you! :)
I know it is hard for you to wrap your head around this idea, but I love everyone. Even John McCain.
I just don't like a lot of individuals. That doesn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. The love is what drives me, not the personal judgmental dislike I may have regarding someone.
So, I cannot pretend to love someone.
I genuinely love everyone. But I have most certainly pretended to LIKE someone that I detested. Whomever gets that treatment from me, deserved it. I am not sorry and I would do it again. I will do whatever it takes to survive a bully or a human malignancy that offers no one any rest, no one any peace and no one any consideration. If that type of individual can be controlled by my fake actions, so be it. Their opinion means nothing to me and I have zero respect for people who's chief reason for being is to make others miserable.
I have had that kind of person in my life and that kind of person needs to be controlled in any manner I see fit that makes my life work. Smile? Fine. I'll smile if that is what it takes. Sayonara, my brother.
Art Lover 