A lesbo chick who worked with my wife wanted to 'do something' with me. Not sure what it was. I was laying in our bed naked under the sheets and I guess she could only muster enough bravery to feel my package through the sheets.
When i first started driving at 16, i was parked at the top of a steep hill in San Francisco and forgot to put on the emergency brake. When I got out of my car, it coasted down the street by itself into a brick wall and it got totaled. I only had it for a week. After that, i rode the bus. I was a sad teenager. Very sad indeed. ;(
In lieu of being the safest and most reliable, never-do-anything-wrong and never-ever-make-a-mistake in all of my 34 years of driving, I would like to share with you one from Don. I hope this still counts because none of mine add up to his. This one is a classic. In the mid-to-late 70s, Don lived in Reno. He was a younger lad back then and was a strong believer in doing Everything in excess. He was driving home on a Friday night, not wisely I might add, but being such an over-achiever, believed he could master the driving feat regardless of anything he had introduced into his body. Luckily, Reno had not developed like it is now. He was in the process of helping build it to what it is today. This added to his ego a bit. He drove down the main drag, succeeded in making a right turn, only to find his success was short lived. He miscalculated the turn just a bit and drove his Volkswagen bug into a large parked car. His whole body was shaken, especially his arm and his head; but, somehow that little bug and he hobbled their way home. Not remembering much of the whole sha-bang because of head injuries and broken arm, Don didn't realize the seriousness this accident had caused. He had hit a brand new, barely driven Cadillac. (Out of due respect to the man, I'm leaving his name out.) The owner of this Cadillac also owned the Mustang Ranch and many other gambling casinos at the time. He was the leader in "Entertainment and Ticketing", to put it professionally. The following Monday, Don received the police report in the mail. Of course, it stated that Don turn himself in. He had full intentions of doing so. As he read on, he saw the name. The name that would soon change his entire existence on earth. He couldn't believe it. Already shaken by causing such a horrific accident on his own, nothing compared the lurking name on the police report. Could he have actually hit the biggest mafioso in Reno and totaled his Cadillac? Of all the the terrible, awful turn of events, how could this be? This was it. It was the end of Don. He was surely a dead man. He changed his mind about making his first call to the police and instead called the owner of the Cadillac . He thought if his life was over he would rather see the man face to face. Whatever the fines were from the police (he didn't leave the crime, he just didn't remember) they were nothing compared to the fright of this man's name. He picked up the phone and made the call. He reached the man's secretary. She said he was busy and asked what it was pertaining to. "Hi, my name is Don. I'm the guy who hit blah, blah, blah's, Cadillac. " That was it. All the sudden, she changed her voice, "OH! He Definitely WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!!" With a broken arm and beat up face, Don went to the mansion to meet the man about to send him to his death. Standing there face to face, he admitted the whole truth all the way down to the state of mind he was in when the accident occurred. To this day, no one is quite sure if the man was impressed by the strength in Don coming forth and speaking the truth, or if he thought Don was the ballizest guy he had ever known at the time.. BUT, whatever the case may be, he did something truly amazing. He had the police warrant against Don disappear and all charges dropped. He even went so far as to hire Don. All he needed to to do was pay his deductible. He would take care of the rest.
Don's punishment was to build him a pool house. He found himself surrounded by beautiful naked women laying around the pool getting full body tans. The job should have taken 3 weeks but some how it lasted 3 months.
I'd like to say there is a lesson here; but, I'm not really sure what it might be. Honesty and luck when you're gambling? This is why I don't gamble. It's kind of contradictory. I say thanks the that man whose name rhymes with confetti. "Incredibly Amazing."
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This post was edited by Merlin at August 13, 2017 8:13 AM MDT
I do believe Don is blushing at the moment. :) Thank you for the Asker's pick. It is a true story and one of my favorites of his. Thanks again! Love, Don and Merlin :) :)
This post was edited by Merlin at August 12, 2017 10:56 PM MDT
B.H.Wilson 