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new girl in workplace

I work in a male dominated profession. I recently took a new job. I have been working for a corporation for 3 months. Men are constantly being so friendly and flirty towards me. It is somewhat annoying. Most of the guys around me are former military, married, or just too old for me. There are young men there but they're not the problem. I recently encountered a dude sending me an instant message at work asking if he can take me out for lunch. I didn't respond. He has been trying to get my attention and come over to my desk to talk to me. He's coming off too forward and like a bugaboo.How do I handle the unwanted attention without being rude and unprofessional? I am socially awkward and when I am annoyed I can become mean. Lol

Posted - June 27, 2016

Responses


  • Just do your job and you'll encourage others to do theirs.  You might have to just be blunt and tell them you're there to work and aren't interested in anything else.  As soon as they realize you're not going to "bite" .. they'll probably back off.  If not, then talk to your supervisor about it.

      June 27, 2016 6:14 AM MDT
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  • Put a sign on your desk and just keep adding to it... popping 1 .. I'm here to work not date... 2 .. No, I don't want to do lunch ... just keep adding as required ... good luck with the new job :)

      June 27, 2016 6:17 AM MDT
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  • 52955
    "Popping"?

    :|
      June 27, 2016 7:25 AM MDT
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  • 359

    Just say i am sorry but i am not interested in you that way....  Try to say it of you can to him only.. Like try not to make a big public loud announcement...   If he persists then yeah you can go for a more public put down.. 

      June 27, 2016 7:26 AM MDT
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  • I know, I know ... bloody auto correct raises it's ugly head again ... should have been point 1 ... the shame

      June 27, 2016 7:36 AM MDT
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  • 457
    Just tell them you have a boyfriend.
      June 27, 2016 9:44 AM MDT
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  • 17405

    I don't believe you.

      June 27, 2016 10:07 AM MDT
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  • Bez

    2148

    If he asks you out for lunch, just tell him you are not hungry at the moment. If he tries to talk to you, just tell him you are busy and you don't have time to talk.

      June 27, 2016 10:20 AM MDT
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  • Bez

    2148

    What part of CaramelLova's question don't you believe, Thriftymaid? I don't see anything there that I wouldn't believe. The whole description is loaded with seenitallbeforeishness. That kind of problem has been going on for donkey's years.

      June 27, 2016 10:23 AM MDT
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  • 17405

    She claims to be a 37 year old professional; this post is barely out of high school.    What educated adult needs help here?  Oh please.

      June 27, 2016 11:45 AM MDT
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  • 22891

    when they ask just tell them its nothing personal but youre not dating right now

      June 27, 2016 7:54 PM MDT
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  • 22
    Well excuse me your highness for posting my real life situation on this platform. You obviously cant relate to being hit on at work. Thats fine. Is it possible you haven't worked around all males before in a professional setting. My question was posted out of curiosity how to approach the predicament because I've shown absolutely zero interest in this person. I don't even sit near this person to make him think there is a chance. I have to interact with males on a daily basis and most do not make me feel agitated or get this kind of attention from them. Some folks don't have boundaries in the workplace but I do.
      June 29, 2016 8:09 PM MDT
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  • 22
    Hehe! I couldn't make up this shit if I tried.
    It's hard being a geeky chick surrounded by so many males...but it shouldn't be
    We all need our paychecks and should be able to go to work without being objectified.
      June 29, 2016 8:14 PM MDT
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  • 22
    I don't think it would help in this situation.
      June 29, 2016 8:14 PM MDT
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  • 3191

    I have worked in predominately male fields and almost exclusively with men since I was 18.  It didn't take long to figure out how to handle such situations.

    You claim to be 37 and a professional.  Your post doesn't portray you as such.   

      June 29, 2016 10:06 PM MDT
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  • 24

    How about considering that some guys can be more obnoxious than others? There are even psychos that can bully you at work. Before you've recognized the pattern, and talked to co-workers about it, it can make you feel pretty uncomfortable.

      July 2, 2016 8:53 AM MDT
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  • 3191

    I am reasonably certain that having worked construction sites, some several acres in size, and being the only woman on site, that I have encountered a level of obnoxious behavior that would not be tolerated in any office setting.  

    Psychos who bully others at work are not limited to males, btw.  

      July 3, 2016 11:43 AM MDT
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  • 46117

    You go to Client Relations and you TELL them that you are being harassed by the men.  PERIOD.  You will probably get in a lot of trouble. Or?  YOU TELL THEM YOURSELF with a taperecorder in their face.  Tell them you do not appreciate being stalked by men.  That you are there to work, not try  and see who wants you.   This is revolting.  Not remotely legal and they need to be put in their place NOW.

    The job is not the prize.  Your dignity is.   SO?  Get a tape recorder.  The next time one of these oafs come near you, turn it ON tell them they are being taped and to BACK OFF because you are sick to death of it.   How's that?  That is what I would do. 

    This is the GOOD OLD BOY'S CLUB and they will gang up on you and talk behind your back at every turn.  I don't know if you have the stomach for this, but there is nothing to be done about it but face what you know is happening anyway.  

    I would write a letter to public relations or whatever it is called.  I would tell them I want this to stop now and you have proof of being harassed.    It helps if there are other people on your side as credible witnesses. If you have no one?  I suggest you get the hell out of that hell.

      July 3, 2016 11:47 AM MDT
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  • 52955
    A woman I worked with years ago had a great solution for this kind of thing. She was part of a group of 3 or 4 women who had all started working there at the same time, so they were all going through orientation together, being shown around the complex together, were issued supplies and equipment, etc. The process took about a week, so naturally, they also had lunch together, which was at the employee cafeteria. It was a large facility with over 1,000 employees and had dozens of buildings on hundreds of acres. Wherever they went, guys would hit on them every now and then. About 4 days in, they were at lunch and the wolves moved in for the kill. They had turned down each request as politely as possible, but that didn't stop more Romeos from trying. The lady I knew stopped the next one dead in his tracks by saying in a loud enough for everyone at the surrounding tables to hear, "Why isn't it obvious that we're here for a job and to earn a paycheck just like everyone else is? This isn't a singles' bar!" It worked like a charm. ~ This post was edited by Randy D at March 9, 2019 6:36 AM MST
      June 27, 2016 5:01 AM MDT
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  • 14

    I would remind him in a friendly way of the fact that there is a workplace policy on sexual harassment...make a joke of it, and if he isn't a complete moron he will understand you are telling him to back off...or just tell him to back off! lol

      June 27, 2016 5:10 AM MDT
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  • 22
    Wowwww! Nice one. :)
      June 27, 2016 5:41 AM MDT
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