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Randy D
Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Was marriage what you thought it was?

Was marriage what you thought it was?

Posted - July 14, 2018

Responses


  • 53509


      Nope.  One of the things I expected was that I thought it would be wall-to-wall sex.  Yeah, right.  I got more when I was single, but marriage may have saved my life.  If I had continued on the path I was on, I'd probably be dead by now from some strange disease.

    ~
      July 15, 2018 12:04 AM MDT
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  • 10026
    Absolutely! To us, marriage is about the heart and the desire to grow, learn, and share our lives together.  Having the added benefits makes it all the better. :)  We have done this for many, many years.  I wouldn't change my life-partner for the world.  As in all relationships, there are growing pains and ups and downs; but, we all need to grow.  Experiencing these with someone you truly respect, love to be around, appreciate, and lust after makes growing older all the better.

    Having a marriage license simply means you are allowed to get married in a certain state. If you do follow through and get married, it must be signed by the bride and groom and a witness, etc.  After that you are registered with that state and are sent a wedding certificate.  BLAH! BLAH! and more BLAH.  It's all governmental.

    You actually marry the state.  Taxing you two is one of the main reasons the government feels the need to get their nose into your personal lives.  That part was truly a mind blower to me.

    The heart and life part, it is absolutely as dynamic as I had hoped.  The government part is weird. This post was edited by Merlin at July 16, 2018 6:06 PM MDT
      July 15, 2018 2:17 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Here there used to be benefits in terms of tax if you are married.. not sure what the case is now but they did for a while try to encourage the institution of marriage. 
      July 15, 2018 5:26 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    I think marriage announces to everyone we know and the whole community, the state, and really the whole world that we are a couple. 
      July 16, 2018 8:38 AM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    I think too many people have too rosy a view of marriage... they don't think hard enough about who they marry.. and then when when it seems not to be working they run away, rather than work on it..  

    Marriage can be a wonderful thing, though I don't think you have to actually marry to have that special relationship... in a great marriage you have everything you need, copious sex that just gets better and better with trust you can experiment, companionship, someone to share life's burdens and to celebrate life's joys with.. 
      July 15, 2018 5:29 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    If you think you can have all those things from just one person I would say your view of marriage is very "rosy"!
      July 16, 2018 8:30 AM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    Fair enough... you are more than entitled to your opinion on that.. If one doesn't have that then one would certainly need to work VERY hard in order to keep it going.. and perhaps many marriages end because they do fall very short of that..  equally many may prefer to stay in a marriage that lacks some of those things for reasons of their own.. like companionship..  But honestly those things I mentioned are entirely possible and it's just unfortunate that some have less than that. They do tend to be the ones complaining on sites like these about marriage though :P
      July 16, 2018 10:58 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    If I were going to say that more succinctly.. 'some people for whatever reasons settle for less, or accept less' 
      July 16, 2018 10:59 AM MDT
    1

  • 6098
    Good to be rosy and romantic but better to be realistic and not expect too much. In the end what I think it gets down to is how much you enjoy each other's company.  If you do you are doing well. 
      July 16, 2018 2:50 PM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    Agreed companionship and compatibility are very important.. but I honestly feel marriage is way more than that.. I've had many male friends but I wouldn't marry them because to me marriage has to have that romantic and strongly sexual element.. the experimenting, the growing together sexually.. very important.. I know not everyone has that, not everyone needs it.. but I do know a lot of men who have that are verrrry happy they have and a lot of others who don't have it moan a lot about it.. 
    I think ultimately what works, works but all those elements can and do go into a successful marriage.. 
      July 16, 2018 3:04 PM MDT
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  • 22891
    i never got married, never thought id get stuck single and never marry cause of noone wanting to marry me
      July 15, 2018 5:49 PM MDT
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  • 6098
    Hi - I didn't marry until I was 53 and for long periods I really thought no one would ever want to marry me because in some ways I was just too independent and not pretty or beautiful.  Do you think there is a reason no one has wanted to marry you?
      July 16, 2018 8:43 AM MDT
    2

  • 17599
    I thought it would be blissful and it was............................until it wasn't.
      July 16, 2018 7:03 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Is for me.   I wanted to feel secure with a man who accepted me and loved my company which is just what I have so I am thankful.  But took me many many years to find him. 
      July 16, 2018 8:24 AM MDT
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  • 23577
    I've never experienced marriage.
      July 16, 2018 8:49 AM MDT
    3

  • 7792
    I'm guessing that you have high moral standards and there's nothing wrong with that.
      July 16, 2018 11:19 AM MDT
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  • 23577
    Wow, thanks, Zack!
    I'm going through a rough time right now, in part wondering why I have no significant other and/or if I truly need one.

    I smile a bit, wondering about some of my morals, based on some of the things/gifs/images I've posted.
    :)
      July 16, 2018 2:47 PM MDT
    3

  • 7792
    You and me both my friend.
      July 16, 2018 2:49 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    "You and me" -  - About the morals based upon what we've posted or the part about not having a significant other? Feel free not to answer --  I don't mean to pry. I just wasn't sure if you were referring to postings or no significant others, as far as both of us being in the same boat.
    :)


      July 16, 2018 2:56 PM MDT
    1

  • 7792
    This part. "I'm going through a rough time right now, in part wondering why I have no significant other and/or if I truly need one."
      July 16, 2018 3:08 PM MDT
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  • 23577
    Thanks, Zack, Yeah, it's not the most fun thing to be going through.
    :)
      July 16, 2018 5:59 PM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    Yes. It is exactly what I thought it was.

    It is a pledge to be honorable no matter what.  It is a pledge to keep a vow no matter what.  It is a pledge to love, honor and share everything with your partner.

    Very few people can do this and that is why  I chose never to be married.

    I cannot promise a vow like that. 
      July 16, 2018 11:20 AM MDT
    4

  • 23577
    Well-deserved asker's pick, BETRAYED OUR COUNTRY and Zack.
    :)
    I admire the direct honesty of the answer. This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at July 17, 2018 3:29 PM MDT
      July 16, 2018 2:48 PM MDT
    3

  • 34286
    Yes. It is wonderful. It is also work. You have be willing to overlook your spiuses flaws and vise versa. You have to watch yourself not to put yourself in an vulnerable situation with others. So there is no misunderstandings or accidents.
    In a arguement you have to be willing not to bring up things from the past or say things you will have to apologize for later.
      July 16, 2018 6:35 PM MDT
    2