Im innocent and have an alibi. Just let me sort through the assorted tilde collections Ive accumulated recently, they can be so disorganizing. Ill have to hire someone to look through them all, (whipping out my Swiss bank account check book) Ill get back to you in a few days with more information on the matter. ;+
I had to buy something with all that money from the Swiss Bank Account someone lent me. Im a lot of things, but wasteful Im not. Besides, It was high tilde I got a new outer space ship, my old one was starting to pock up from micro meteorite collisions. I was starting to look like Ricardo Montalban.
Yes, Officers, that's Carbie, I'd recognize her anywhere, and she's the one who stole my tildes, place her under arrest right away! You'll find her fingerprints all over my tilde collection, but only I know the secret places on her body where she's hidden the deposit slips for the Swiss bank account that she opened by selling my tildes on the black market. The mayor has granted me special powers to conduct the strip search, so if you'd be so kind as to escort her directly to my bedroom, I'll take it from there. Thank you, Officers, that will be all. Wait, what are you doing taking the handcuffs off of her? Leave them on, by all means! (Cough, cough.)