Hmm... My initial thought was that I never loved him "madly." That's probably because it ended so badly and we still don't get along. By the end of it, I couldn't remember having loved him at all. I knew I must have, but I couldn't remember it.
As I ponder your question more, I do remember loving him "madly." It was before the wedding and for a little while after. I don't remember how much longer after though.
I have been madly in love 3 times. Each time seemed to be more fervent than the last one. But... I know me. I know I change. Therefore, I have never been married. Marriage is for people who get it.
I didn't get it. I could not fathom promising someone that I will always be this or that.
Now, I realize, older and wiser that weathering the storms is the biggest bond you can have with a mate.
I still think I did the right thing. I was not mature enough to look for the right things to sustain a marriage.
I love the idea, but I never wanted that idea.
It wasn't me. I couldn't get past the idea of having to plan an affair like that. NO WAY.
I was madly in love with my Ex, and in many ways I still am. I think we started out madly in lust. We had two fantastic kids who are now launched. Problem is when you are married to a workaholic you always play second fiddle. Consequently we split.
My current partner chose me, I was attracted to her. Are we in love, believe so. Are we great partners I believe so, are we great lovers hell yes. So I am beginning to wonder what madly in love is?
This post was edited by Archerchef at December 1, 2018 11:56 AM MST
Besottedly, and I still am. I remained a virgin until we were engaged - for less than five minutes, she answered my proposal by stripping. Scared the hell out of me tbh. Our love is different now - deeper, more enduring. I took the good times, I took the bad times, I took her just the way she is.
I met and married my husband when I was 53. Only once previously had I come close to marriage. Although I flirted with romantic love when I was still very young I would say I pretty quickly came to the conclusion that it was just for the beautiful and notable people. So I guess I mostly thought love was not something I felt but something I did. You like someone and you get together with him and care for him and he becomes part of you. Although I always wanted to marry I had mostly given up thinking I ever would long before the time I met my husband. And I really had started thinking in terms of finding a suitable partner to grow older with.
Meeting Gerry it became immediately clear that we were "right" for each other because we so enjoyed one another's company and shared the same world, social, and political views. Plus he was very responsible. Which was - you know you wait for the "right" person for years and suddenly you meet him and your joy knows no bounds. Now that may be enough to be considered "madly in love" but I did not think of it so but rather from a more practical point of view - an attraction of rightness or compatibility rather than what I would have regarded as "love". He felt the same way and in a week or so we were engaged. Even now I can't look at him as a love object but our lives are so entwined it is hard to even conceive of life without him.
My last real image of him is standing in front of a room 10 years ago. I have no idea what he looks like today. People change and he may look completely different. I really try to hold on to his look because that is part of who I fell in love with. A small part but an important one none the less.
Archerchef 