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Would you tell family members you have Alzheimer's or dementia?

Or, would you keep it secret and have it only between yourself and your SO? Would you keep any illness a secret and not tell anyone? I grew up in a family that doesn't tell. So far, that hasn't worked out well for any of them that has kept quiet. 

Posted - January 14, 2019

Responses


  • My family was very secretive when my Dad got colon cancer and most times keeps personal health issues in the immediate family.  I noticed that my cousin's family is the same.  We are and have always been very protective  of our privacy.  If I was afflicted with either of those horrid diseases I would only tell my spouse/SO, and no one else.  My older sister gets too worked up and it wouldn't be good for her health.
      January 14, 2019 7:34 PM MST
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  • When I’m struggling with something, I tend to withdrawl from people. I like to deal with difficult  situations on my own. On the other hand, I would be furious at family member or loved one  for keeping something like that from me. So short answer, I don’t know the correct answer:)
      January 14, 2019 7:37 PM MST
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  • 976
    I'm the same way. So, I don't even know the answer to my question.
      January 14, 2019 7:39 PM MST
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  • It’s a tough one, I’m sure anyone’s loved ones would want to be able to support them during illness. Just as much as someone might not want to burden their loved ones. I’m not sure there’s a correct answer. Just personal choice. 
      January 14, 2019 7:41 PM MST
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  • 976
    True, I feel the same. You don't know until you're faced with it. 
      January 14, 2019 7:45 PM MST
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  • I hope you don’t have to face it :)
      January 14, 2019 8:17 PM MST
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  • Absolutely.   That is what family is for - been there with my dad.  You need all the support you can get when going through something horrific like that.  
      January 14, 2019 7:38 PM MST
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  • 5835
      January 14, 2019 8:02 PM MST
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  • Hahah! I love this.  I forget why, but I know I love it.
      January 14, 2019 8:06 PM MST
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  • 52887

      Wait, would I even know I had it?

    ~
      January 14, 2019 11:50 PM MST
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  • In its early stages, yes, you would know.  My dad knew even before his formal diagnosis. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 16, 2019 6:53 PM MST
      January 15, 2019 8:38 AM MST
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  • 5391
    At some point, with regard to Alzheimer’s or dementia, there will be no need to tell them. It will become unavoidably obvious. They will probably notice it before you do. 
    Of course I would tell my loved ones that I was facing a degenerative medical condition. What possible good would be served by keeping it to myself? 
      January 15, 2019 4:23 AM MST
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  • 44159
    I probably would not tell them as I would have forgotten how to use a phone, or even where it is.
      January 15, 2019 7:03 AM MST
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  • 7772
    With my mom's big mouth, it would get out no matter what.
      January 15, 2019 7:06 AM MST
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  • I think I'd have fun with it and just let them figure it out on their own. :P
      January 15, 2019 2:13 PM MST
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  • 17351
    If they are ever around you, they already know. This post was edited by Thriftymaid at January 15, 2019 3:54 PM MST
      January 15, 2019 3:04 PM MST
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  • 2052
    Someone who works at an Alzheimers memory care once told me: "If you wonder if you might have Alzheimers...you dont." He said most people don't know, the family knows however. 
      January 15, 2019 5:06 PM MST
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  • 1893
    Personally I keep all information close, even health issues.  My partner knows everything about me, and I her.  In many cases there is no need to broadcast some issues to the world, and in others there is.  When we were expecting it became pretty evident to everyone she was pregnant.

    I dealt with my Dad's health and dementia at arms length. My sister did what was right and let his friends and neighbors know.  She was the primary contact since I was 6,000 miles away. This post was edited by Archerchef at January 16, 2019 12:14 PM MST
      January 16, 2019 12:10 PM MST
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  • 4631
    Absolutely yes.
    They would have a moral right to know and understand what's going wrong in their communications with me.
    But the chances are high that would be that they would have seen something was going wrong long before I did.
    Probably it would have been them who pushed me to take the tests.
      January 16, 2019 3:32 PM MST
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  • 2327
    Yes. It's not like it's an easy thing to hide for very long anyway. 
      January 16, 2019 5:52 PM MST
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